Alley was with Scarlett all day, so I moved my flight up. Figured if I wasn’t seeing her, I might as well get back early.
I finish chewing my roast and wash it down with a swig of water. “I don’t know if we’re getting back together. I haven’t asked her about the Berkshires. And not that it’s any of your business”—I stab my fork into a potato—“but no. We haven’t.” I pop a carrot into my mouth and chew. “I’m hopeful, though. Soon.”
Megan frowns, letting out a sigh. “Dammit. I thought you guys were spending all this time together?”
“We are.”
“So, what—you’ve just been talking?”
“That’s kind of how it works, Meg.”
Matt chuckles, lifting his glass of Cabernet to his lips.
Megan shoots him a glare. “Iknowhow it works,” she says defensively. “I’m just surprised that’sallthat’s happened. I was hoping you’d be a little farther along in this wholewin-her-backjourney.” She sets her fork down. “I really want her to come to the Berkshires. Are you asking her soon? Amber and I are booking spa appointments. I need to know if it’s for two or three.”
“Jesus, do you hear yourself?” Matt says, thank God. “Do you realize how selfish that sounds right now?”
Megan scowls. I’m used to her being this way. Blunt. Selfish. But for fuck’s sake, read the room.
“Hey,” Kevin cuts in. “Not cool, man.” He glances at Matt, then turns to me. “She just misses her.”
Only Matt really knows what’s been going on. He’s the only one I’ve told about the kiss Friday night, and I texted him this morning about the whole meditation room situation. And Leo’s.
“It’s fine,” I say, mostly to Matt, then turn to Megan. “I’m sorry I can’t give you a clear answer on the Berkshires. I’d say just book it, and if she doesn’t go, you can cancel. I’ll pay the deposit to hold the appointment. But I don’t know…” I shake my head, frustration creeping in. “I don’t know where she’s at with any of it.”
Matt shifts in his seat. “Wait, I thought yesterday…” He trails off, hesitant. “I thought things were going well?”
Megan’s eyes narrow. “What do you meanyesterday? What happened yesterday?”
I shoot Matt a look before answering. “Nothing, Meg. It’s not a big deal.” I exhale, then proceed to tell her anyway. “She kissed me. Invited me to Leo’s. Introduced me to her friends. But…” I stare down at my empty plate and rub the back of my neck.God, I don’t even know how to explain it.“She hasn’t asked me anything. Not about rehab. Not about my tattoo. She hasn’t told me she’s mad. Hasn’t brought up the past at all. She acts like nothing happened, but she doesn’t trust me. I don’t know what she wants… and I don’t think she does either.”
I pause, running my hands over my face with a groan. “It’s fucking weird.”
They all gape at me.
“She hasn’t asked you about rehab?” Megan shakes her head. “That doesn’t sound like her. That’s, like, such a big deal. Such a huge thing in your life.” She picks up her wine glass, then sets it down hard. “So you’re not having sex, and you’re not even talking about the shit that actually matters?”
My face burns. Maybe I shouldn’t have told them that. This weekend was a huge win. I’ve been trying to shove all my fears aside, act like everything’s going according to plan. Been hyping myself up for weeks. But fuck, I’m tired of pretending this isn’t messing with my head.
Because it is.
My biggest fear is that she’ll suddenly pull away after all these steps forward. That she’ll never open up—never ask about rehab, or my rock bottom, or even tell me how she feels. I want her to know—about all of it. I want her to care.
I’m trying to trust the process. To be patient. But it’s hard not to let the doubt creep in.
I nod slowly. “Seriously.” My brows furrow. “I don’t know what it means. If she just isn’t ready… or doesn’t want to know. But we can’t move forward if she won’t talk to me.”
“Have you asked her?” Megan presses.
“No,” I admit. “I haven’t wanted to push. I’ve brought stuff up, hoping she’d ask or say something, but she doesn’t. She changes the subject.” I shrug. “Guess we’ll have to see. This weekend was good. We really connected. She reached for my hand a few times.” A low chuckle slips out. “Even called me babe.”
“Well, that’s great.” Megan offers a small smile. “Sounds like progress is being made.” She takes a sip of her wine. “So when do you think you’ll ask her about the Berkshires?”
“Fuck, Megan,” Matt says, laughing. “Give him a minute.”
“Just book the appointment, babe,” Kevin says gently. “He’ll let you know when he talks to her.”
“Fine. I will.” Megan presses her lips together “Sorry, little brother. I hope it works out. And not just for the Berkshires… For you.”
