It’s not a promise. But it’s effort. And after everything I put her through? Effort means everything.
I’ll fucking take it.
Well,this is officially the most uncomfortable I’ve been since rehab… or maybe ever. I’m not awkward in social situations, even when they’re new. I’ve always been an extrovert. Good with people. Confident.
We’re all seated around Leo’s poker table on the first floor of his townhome. The place has four or five levels, I’m not quite sure, but it’s big. All I know is I’m on the lowest one with Leo, Alley, Cooper, Ryan, Adam—and Scarlett, who no doubt hates me.
This is so unlike me. To feel out of place. Intimidated. I’m Jensen Fucking Adams. I walk into rooms and command them. But here?
Here, I feel stupid as shit. Like I’ve got something to prove. And Scarlett’s glares sure as hell aren’t helping.
Leo tosses his cards onto the pile. “Fuck all, again. That’s four hands in a row.” He drains the last of his whiskey with a dramatic sigh. “I need another drink and a bloody miracle.”
“It’s a good thing you’re not poor,” Ryan quips, and he and Adam both crack up.
Leo leans back, lights a cigar, and takes a long drag. “I’m going to be if you keep taking all my money.” He passes the cigars around, and Ryan, Adam, and Cooper each grab one.
“I’ve got jack shit again too,” I say, throwing my cards down.
I used to love this. Drink in one hand, cigar in the other, chips stacked high, my girl laughing beside me. Nights like this used to be my favorite. Now I’m sipping sparkling water like a fucking child.
It’s hard tonight. I want a drink. I want to loosen up, laugh, feel included.
But it’s fine.
I’m fine.
Adam gathers the cards and starts to shuffle, and Leo stands to refill his drink.
I’ve always liked Leo, and everyone else here has been great. But it’s not like Leo doesn’t know all my darkest shit. He’s a therapist, for Christ’s sake, and Alley lives here. I know she talks to him. She always has.
I don’t know what the rest of them know or don’t know. But they know she moved here because of me. That she was going to divorce me. That she’s been sad—because of me.
Laughter buzzes around the table. Even Alley’s laughing, tucked between me and Adam, and it pulls a smile from me.
Vivian’s not playing. She was upstairs earlier, putting the kids to bed. Now she’s curled up on the couch with a glass of wine, just taking it all in. She chimes in occasionally, but it looks like she’s thoroughly enjoying the break and relaxation.
Cooper stands, pushing her chips to Ryan. “Here, babe. I’m all pokered out.”
“Me too,” Scarlett says, nudging Adam—who she’s been flirting with all night. “Do you want my chips?”
It irritates me.
Look, I’ve always liked Scarlett. She’s always been part of my life with Alley. She’s Alley’s best friend—so, by default, she’s my friend. But right after Alley first told her about my addiction, she told Alley to leave.Leave him. Like I was some expired item.Toss him aside and move on. Like I wasn’t her best friend’s husband. Or the guy who helped her move when no one else could. Or the guy who let her crash on our couch after her breakup with that one asshole.
Jesus. I watched her throw herself at Matt for five fucking years, and now she’s doing the same thing with Adam?
Okay, that’s petty as hell. I know. But I’m wound so tight tonight I can barely think straight. And it’s getting to me…
Because she’s acting like she fucking hates me.
I just wish she gave a shit that I’m trying to make it right.
Cooper strides to the bar along the back wall and opens the fridge. “Who wants another drink?”
“Beer me, babe!” Ryan calls out.
She pulls one out and sets it on the bar.
