The way this man holds my entire heart in the palm of his hand… I read it over and over, until nothing has ever beenclearer. I see his work. I see mine waiting ahead. I know what I have to do.
I can’t snap my fingers and erase the past. I can’t pretend trust magically reappears overnight. But I can choose. I can either move forward doubting everything, living in fear—or I can let go, trust my husband, and see him for the man he is now and the man he’s becoming.
I choose him.
And through all of it, one truth hits sharper than anything else.
I fucking love him.
Chapter Thirty-Five
JENSEN
My eyes scan the mountain,searching for Matt. The sun glares off the snow, forcing me to squint.
Shit. I lost him.
I finish the section of moguls and push to make up time, crouching low, leaning forward, catching speed. Matt’s a way better skier than me. He’s been doing this since he could walk. It was the one thing he did with his dad growing up that actually counted as quality time.
At the bottom of the hill, I finally spot him in his red boots, waiting for me.
I skid to a stop. “You’re too fucking fast, man. I don’t know how you go down those moguls like that.”
He grins. “Yeah, well, it was learn to go fast or get left behind crying. I chose the former.” He claps my back. “Kev and Jeff are inside grabbing a drink. You wanna hang or head back to the house?”
“I can hang for a bit.”
He asks because he can’t fathom being at a bar and not drinking. But that’s life now. And I’m fine with it. Not that theidea doesn’t sound good. There’s nothing like an ice-cold beer to warm your belly after a long day on the slopes.
I’m looking forward to spending time with Alley tonight, but I don’t want to pass up this much needed time with my brothers. It feels special, and I’m seeing it all through a clearer lens this week.
I follow Matt inside. He drops into a seat next to Kevin, and I slide in beside Jeff. They’ve already got beers in front of them, and Matt wastes no time, waving the bartender over to order two IPAs on tap.
Jeff glances at me. “You look happy, brother.” An awkward chuckle slips out as a grin spreads across my face. Jeff’s never been one for deep talks with me. Ever. “It’s nice.” He clears his throat, voice softening. “To see you happy again.”
“Thanks, man. That means a lot. Especially coming from you.”
“Yeah? Why’s that?”
“’Cause you’re my big brother. It always means something when you give a shit.” I fold my hands on the bartop, eyes dropping to them. “I’ve always looked up to you, you know?”
Vulnerability burns through me. Jeff and I don’t do this. We stick to surface-level talks. Sports. Work.
“You’ve always had your shit together. Always knew what you wanted. Never got in trouble. Never fucked up. You just… knew how to navigate life. Amber’s lucky to have you. I know I give you shit about being boring, but…” I huff out a laugh. “Truth is, I’m a little envious you didn’t need rehab to figure it all out.” One corner of my mouth lifts. “You’re a great dad too.”
My gaze falls on his beer. Not because I want it, but because I realize something. I don’t need a drink to have this conversation. Or to laugh. Or to have wild sex with my beautiful wife. Or to live fully. Maybe I’m not as steady by nature as he is, but that makes me a different kind of strong. It hits me right in the chest—I’vedone some really hard shit. And that alone makes me worthy of the same things he has.
The corners of his mouth pull up. “Thank you for saying that.” He takes a sip of his beer, thoughtful. “You know I’ve always been in awe of you?”
What?
He glances over, sees my surprise, and chuckles. “Don’t act so shocked. It’s not like you aren’t used to being everyone’s favorite.”
“Yeah, but… I always thought you hated that growing up.”
“Oh, I did. Megan too. But you’ve got something neither of us have.”
“What’s that? A roster of all the dumb shit I’ve done?”
