Just pieces of him and proof he’s still clean.
My legs give out, the closet spinning, and I drop to the floor. Relief whips through me so hard I almost black out, sobs tearing out of me louder than before.
Jensen crouches in front of me. “Babe,” he says softly. His eyes are red, nostrils flaring, fighting not to break. His fingers weave into my hair, his face pressing into it. “God, babe,” he chokes, pulling back to cup my face. “Look at me.”
My eyes dart everywhere, too rattled to land on his.
“Al. I’m right here. Eyes on me, babe. Remember? Eyes on me.”
My eyelids flutter shut.
He remembers.
It’s what he said to me the night before our wedding. I was so nervous about walking down the aisle, knowing all those people would be there. He took my hands in his, looked me dead in the eyes, and said,Eyes on me, babe. The whole time. Just… eyes on me.
When I open my eyes, they finally land on his. A blanket of calm wraps around me, the jitteriness melting from my limbs.
“Just breathe, alright? I’ve got you.”
I suck in a sharp breath, letting it out slow.
“That’s it, babe. Deep, slow breaths.”
His forehead rests against mine, and the grounding is instant. My breathing evens, each exhale puffing out my cheeks. His thumb swipes away the tears streaking my face.
I loop my arms around his neck, cupping the back of his head, and suddenly, the person who sent me spinning is the one steadying me.
Just like it used to be. Before our trust shattered.
Jensen was always the one who could take my burdens and make them his. The one who helped shoulder the weight. Who could turn my tears into laughter.
He’s here.
He didn’t betray my trust. He didn’t lie.
When I needed him, he caught me.
Finally.
God, finally.
Chapter Thirty
JENSEN
Fuck.
Alley’s sobs slow, each one coming softer than before.
“That’s it, babe. Nice, slow breaths. You’ve got this. I’m right here.”
Fuck.
I’d gone to the gym this morning, came back, showered. She was still out of it. I dinked around for a bit, then decided to grab us coffee and bagels from one of our favorite roasting companies. Completely forgot my phone. By the time I realized, I was already halfway around the block.
She’s rocking now, small whimpers slipping out between shaky breaths, and my stomach knots so tight it’s hard to breathe. It guts me, watching my wife break down because of the shit I’ve put her through. It’s a different kind of pain. One that cuts deeper than any withdrawal ever could.
And it’s the fucking worst.
