I should be doing things to better myself, too. Why should he be the only one doing the work?
Well, technically, heisthe one who screwed it all up.
So, maybe it’s fair.
But damn, whatever the reason, I felt insecure. Like I wasn’t good enough for him.
I used to get those thoughts in the beginning, back when we first started dating. I mean, he was a rich Upper East Sider who turned every head in the room, and his best friend was a billionaire. It was intimidating. But Jensen was all in. He shut those insecurities down fast.
It was only toward the end, when the drugs took over, that something shifted. And for the first time, he wasn’t good enough for me.
Not the real him, of course. The addict version. The one who stopped showing up. But now, seeing him show up again, every day… It’s amazing. Just… feels like it’s too good to be true. Like it might not last. I remember feeling like things were too good to be true before, and look how that turned out.
It could just be nerves, though. Or maybe it’s something deeper I haven’t let myself unpack yet.
I shake the thoughts away, telling myself to pull it together. I throw my hair on top of my head and take a quick shower.
After brushing my teeth, I pull off a half-assed version of getting ready: messy bun, mascara, lip gloss. Then I throw on some leggings, a long sleeve shirt, and a thick pullover. It won’t fit under a coat, and it’s definitely not warm enough for February, but I’ll only be outside a few minutes.
I enter the kitchen and practically run into Leo. “Shit. Sorry.” I brush past him to fill up my water bottle.
“Hey, Al.” He pauses what he’s doing and turns to me. “Noticed you didn’t come home last night.”
I glance over as I set my bottle under the filtration spigot. He’s leaning against the counter, arms crossed, brow raised, lip twitching with that all-knowing look.
A grin stretches across my face before I can hide it. I laugh softly. “Yeah, I’m not talking about this with you.”
“Why not? You talk to me about everything else. What, now you only share when you need something? But when it’s the fun stuff, your lips are sealed?”
I press my mouth shut, fighting a smile. “Yep. You’re like a brother. And you’re married to my friend. No sex talk with you. Sorry.”
He chuckles. “Fair enough. And you just confirmed all I needed to know. I’ll get the full Vivian version later, after you’ve had your girl talk. You seem extra chipper this morning. I take it you’re happy?”
“You’re prying.”
He lifts his hands in mock innocence. “Therapist. Guilty. Where you headed in such a hurry?”
“Jensen’s taking me to breakfast.”
“Where to?”
“Not sure, but you know I love Wildberry. Vivian got me hooked on it.”
He takes a sip of his cappuccino. “She never gets sick of it.”
Vivian walks into the kitchen with Isla. “Morning.”
“Morning,” I say as Leo adds, “Speak of the devil,” greeting her with a kiss and taking Isla from her arms. “Where’s Benson?”
“He’s still asleep if you can believe it. But he woke up at four to eat, so I’m not complaining.” She turns to me, grinning. “Did you not come home last night?”
Leo raises his brows at me, and my stupid smile gives everything away.
“Oh my God,” Vivian gasps. “You spent the night with Jensen?” She heads for the espresso machine. “Tell me everything.”
I glance at my phone. It’s 9:07, and Jensen hasn’t texted me yet, so I slide onto a barstool. Leo grins with satisfaction.
“You can leave,” I joke.
