Rickon stills, hands clasped around mine on his hair. He twists to look up at me, his polo shirt riding up his lithe body. With one knee up and the other angled across the tent floor, he looks like a beautiful marble statue, frozen in the moment of battling the fiend who dared grab his hair.
“And what . . . what happened between us, Calli?” he whispers. “That was just an accident fueled by heat pheromones.”
His words hurt like a blade slicing through my heart. In the seventeen years I’ve known him, nothing about our relationship has been an accident. But even though I discovered how much I hopelessly long for him, I can’t act on my feelings. That’d be a disservice to Red and her desire for distance between us.
What a wretched realization to have when it’s too late.
Everything’s too late, and I’ll never have the chance again.
My breath catches, and the tent shrinks. I suck in air but my throat hitches, stopping the flow. My lungs tighten. Fuck, not now! I’ve gone weeks without an episode. I’ve walked confidently into courtrooms and gone toe-to-toe with crime bosses, so why am I so weak around these two people?
Because love makes us vulnerable. And maybe I came to visit Ricky and Red tonight because I instinctively sought safety—like a wounded animal returning to its den.
My eyes flutter as I gasp for breath.
“Callisto? Bloody hell. Listen to me, Calli.” Rickon rocks upright and crouches over me, lifting my arms up.
I snatch a fragment of a breath before my ribs close tight, squeezing me. Feels like I’ll never draw a full breath again.
“You’re okay. Breathe with me,” Rickon murmurs, voice soothing.
Red calls out behind him, “What’s wrong?”
“He’s having a panic attack.”
“I-I’m sorry,” I gasp out, burying my hands in Rickon’s sleeves, blind and shaking. “I c-came to h-help you . . . but instead—”
“Shh,” he says kindly, still lifting my arms. “You don’t have to put on a brave face with us.”
I slump, his words releasing a pressure valve inside. I can’t breathe, but I no longer feel like I have to fight to try.
A warm hand settles on my back, smoothing in big circles. “Hey now,” Red croons. “You gotta have one flaw or you’d be too perfect.”
I choke on something that might be a laugh if I could breathe normally.
Red chuckles with me. We both know I have many flaws, but their care relaxes me. Rickon counts for me, coaxing me to inhale with him. A moment later, he starts rhythmically tapping his fingers on the side of my palm. Even if the world collapses, I’m not alone. I’m not their pack mate, but they’re still my friends.
I blink tears from my eyes and search for Ricky. He smiles at me and brushes sweat from my forehead. “Welcome back,” he murmurs.
With a nod, I study him, getting my bearings. I gripped him so tight patches of his skin turned bloodless. I relax my grip, slide my thumbs over the bones in his forearms and tip my head to rest on Red’s shoulder while still staring at Ricky. He’s so beautiful, so desirable. How could I not have seen it before?
I swipe my tongue over my dry lips and slip my hand down his arm until I catch his hand in mine. “It wasn’t an accident, Rickon. You and me. It really wasn’t.”
Chapter twenty-seven
Red
Voices laugh at me from the shadows and glass crashes behind me. I spin, reaching for my alphas, but Zack slips from my grip. A dark shadow tows him away in a silent undercurrent. My alpha throws me a terrified look, and I thrash, shouting his name, but the gloom swallows him whole.
I jerk awake, panting. Just a dream.
A heavy arm slides over me to lock around my waist, and my heart’s frantic beating settles. Reality clicks into place one piece at a time. I’m okay . . . I’m in bed with Rickon, and Zack’s close by beyond the prison walls. He won’t get hurt a second time, not now that he understands self-defense. I press my fingers to my aching forehead, and then freeze.
Rickon snores softly in front of me, pillowing his face on one hand. He sleeps with his knees bent up so they touch my thighs. Which means the arm around me doesn’t belong to him. Neither does the cherry wood scent.
Callisto stayed the night.
I relax and let my eyes slide shut. If Rickon’s alarm hasn’t gone off at the crack of dawn, it means we’re filming in the afternoon. I can take my time and enjoy waking up next to Calli.
