I don’t like the way these ideas pile up behind my eyes without rest. It’s the darkness and silence, nibbling at me piece by piece. The coldness settles into me again, as if I’d already gone to that place where alphas go when they stop breathing.
One, two. I push up from the floor, feeling an answering pressure tugging my chest, stomach, and upper arms. Three, four, five. That’s as many numbers as I learned, so I repeat them over and over, no longer sure I have the correct order. And with every repetition, the darkness sinks a little deeper, asking if all the promises my pack made about love and kisses forever were tricks of my mind.
Maybe they abandoned me because I broke the rules.
My arms give out, and I collapse onto the hard floor, the chill stinging my heated skin. My heavy breaths gusts around me, the only sound in existence. Then I pick up the faint pad of boots in the outside corridor.
The door bolt scrapes, and I twitch, shivering with nerves like I’m on high alert for a challenge. For a second I brace myself, ready to fight.
A guard, framed by bright light, stands in the open doorway and eyes me up and down. “Your time’s done, Jones. Get up.”
I roll to my feet, observing him intently. “Go now?”
“Yes, back to your cell.” He holds out handcuffs, and I offer my wrists reluctantly.
I grumble in warning when he grabs my elbow, and the alpha glares at me. “Want to stay here longer?”
I shake my head and curl my lip. “No. Too dark.”
He scoffs. “That’s the point. It’s a punishment for attacking people. Don’t go crazy again.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him it was because of my ohm-ga, but I clench my teeth around the words. He doesn’t care, and no matter what, I don’t want to stay in this tiny, gnawing room.
“Go,” I say, ignoring the way my skin itches under his fingers. The only touch I like is from my pack. “See Al.”
The man scoffs. “Yeah, your good ol’ cellmate, Alhedy.”
We walk down a corridor and through a pair of thick doors that slide open and shut on their own. The scent of alphas wraps around me, and I lift my nose, filtering through the semi-familiar ones. Who’d imagine I’d be grateful for alpha stench? It means I’m no longer alone.
The guard flings open the door to my cell, and Al looks up from his exercises on the floor. “Welcome back, Zack.”
I bare my teeth at him, ignoring the way my heart lifts. But then I catch something in the air. The guard removes my handcuffs, and I lunge forward, catching Al around the neck as he awkwardly rises. He snarls in warning, but I’m not trying to fight.
“Smell Cal-ee,” I mutter, diving my nose down until I find his hands.
“Have fun, you two,” the guard says with a nasty laugh, leaving me pinning the other alpha to the wall.
“Thanks a lot, pal,” Al calls after him, lifting his middle finger in an angry jerk. “And would you get the hell off me, mutt?”
“Zack,” I correct him, stepping back. “Not dog.”
“Yeah, fine. You’re Zack. Whatever. Seems like you’re getting smarter by the day.”
“Cal-ee came?” I ask, backing away.
He shoves me back, his alpha aggression pouring out in response to my threat, but I know he doesn’t mean it. “Yes. I still can’t believe your precious ‘Cal-ee’ was Callisto Wren, Laversham’s bulldog lawyer.”
“Cal-ee not dog.”
Al groans and rubs his forehead. “If only you knew how wrong you are.” He shakes his head, a half smile tilting his mouth.“First things first, how was solitary confinement?” When I don’t reply, he adds, “The dark cell.”
I growl and climb to the top bunk. “Bad. Cold. Dark. Eats my . . .” I tap the side of my head.
“That’s called your mind. And the buzzy ideas or voices are thoughts.” Al shifts to the far side of the room where he can see me. “And yeah, that’s why they use it exists, so people behave.”
“I behave. I not kill.”
He laughs, a guttural, snorting sound, which sounds better than it should to my ears. “Only a feral would think anything less than murder is good behavior.”
