“Doing this week?”
“No. Doing from this point onward.”
I froze, staring at him. “Marriage?” I whispered, the word nearly caught in my throat, but this time it didn’t terrify or choke me like it had that night with Joe.
“Perhaps. Committed relationship to start with. We’re nowhere near ready to even start talking about that far in the future.”
I relaxed but also noted the twinge of disappointment in my soul over that postponement.
What the hell’s wrong with me?
Love. I’m inlovewith him already.That’swhat the hell’s wrong with me.
His gaze narrowed in that obnoxiously attentive way he had. “Where’d you just go, baby? I want the truth from you. Nothing else happens if I can’t count on you to always be honest with me.”
“You don’t look fat in those jeans, Sir.”
But that didn’t earn me a playful smile. In fact he didn’t move, waiting.
I broke first. “I was terrified about thinking you meant marriage, and disappointed when I realized you said that wasn’t an option yet. Two massively conflicting ideas all at once.”
He slowly nodded. “What else? There was more. Your eyes widened a little, and I heard your breath catch.”
“You’re too fucking good at this.” Eyebrow arch. “Sir,” I tacked on.
“That’s not answering my question, babygirl.”
I studied him. “It might make you want to tank all of this.”
“You won’t know until you tell me.”
I closed my eyes but heboopedmy nose so I opened them again.
“I just realized I’m in love with you. I don’t know when it snuck up on me.”
I don’t know what I expected, but his sweet smile and the tender kiss he brushed across my lips wasn’t it. “Baby, I know I’m in love with you, too. Which is why I’m desperately trying not to fuck this up between us.”
He’s…
Staring up at him, I tried to process what he’d just said. “You are?” I whispered.
He nodded. “It slammed home for me in the kitchen the day you moved me in. When you grabbed their urns and the photo albums.” His voice choked up. “And as stupid as it sounds, that’s why I refused to sleep with you even though part of me wanted to scoop you up and take you and fuck your brains out right that second.”
“That’s… confusing.”
He kissed me again, which didn’t help my confusion but it was a great distraction.
“Because it flashed through my mind in that instant that I could see myself waking up next to you every day. That I wanted you so badly I would have dropped to my knees in that moment and proposed to you. And I’ve never felt that before with anyone. Not even my ex-wife. Meaning I knew I had to force myself to go slow, at your pace, and do this the right way.”
He reached up and laced fingers with me. “What I want is someone I can center in my life outside of work, and who likewise centers me outside of work. I don’t want ‘command and obey’. I don’t want a bang-maid. I enjoy doing rope, and I hope you enjoy it. If not, that’s not a deal-breaker for me. I would enjoy it if you enjoyed sensual play—spanking, implements. It would turn me on if you submitted to me for play even if it’s not your favorite, but the act of submitting to me makes you hot. I would never force you to do it, and I would never take play past your hard limits. You would always have a safe word for that. But for things like our relationship—and we would absolutelybe monogamous with each other—there wouldn’t be safe words once we’ve negotiated.”
“What if something isn’t working for me?” I asked, trying not to focus on how wet I knew I was from thinking about him spanking me.
“Then you ask me to sit down and discuss it like adults. Look, you know what my job is like. I know what your job is like. I have no interest in setting up a bunch of complicated rituals neither of us will be able to follow through with.”
“What about sex?”
“Hard limits. Within those hard limits, I expect obedience. I don’t mean you had a shitty day and are on your period and have a migraine and I order you to your knees to blow me.” He brought my hand up to his lips and lightly grazed his teeth over my fingers even as he stared into my eyes. “But if we’re within parameters, and Daddy tells you to sit on his cock, my little slut better do it or have a good explanation why not.”
