A relationship with any man I dated before now never would have worked, would have always been doomed, simply because I never would have allowed him in. Maybe the sex would have been good enough to hold things together for a few months, but there always would have been an impenetrable wall I never revealed any hint about how to scale or dismantle.
And here stood Jack, in the dust and rubble of the sudden and unexpected demolition, not only unflinching but determined not to let me stand there alone, raw and exposed to the world.
Ready to replace that protective wall with his embrace.
Kissing him like this, the first kiss we’d really shared, electrified my confused and reeling nervous system, magnetically aligning every atom in my body with his.
I could easily spend the rest of my life just like this, safe in his arms and tasting him, sharing his breath, enveloped in his warmth.
But eventually he did end it and pressed his forehead against mine, an intimacy I realized I’d never shared with a man before.
An addictive intimacy. “We’re skipping the class, sweetheart,” he softly said but there was no tone behind his words other than love—no irritation, no impatience. “I’ll order room service and we’ll watch the video classes on TV. I’ll find you a notepad and pen so you can write questions. Then, if I can’t answer them, we’ll find someone who can. Okay?”
I nodded. “Yes, Sir. I’m sorry.”
“Hey.” He lifted his head, staring into my eyes. “New rule—neverapologize when you need something for your mental or emotional health. I don’t care if we have a trip around the world planned and have to cancel, your emotional health comes first. Well, and your physical health.Duh.”
The way his lips quirked at the edges made me smile and I reached up, lightly tracing them with my index finger. He kissed the pad of it when I paused there.
“Yes, Sir,” I said.
“That’s my good girl.”
“Can I make rules, Sir?”
“Depends on what they are.”
In this light and this close, his eyes looked like granite with flecks of midnight blue. “Never lie to me, and don’t hold information back. Aboutanything. Not to spare my feelings, not to manage them. Ever.”
His right eyebrow arched ever so slightly. “Surprise parties? Gifts? ‘Do these pants make me look fat’?”
I considered it. “Use your judgment when it’s a minor thing like that. And please don’t ever let me go out looking like I’ve never dressed myself before. If in doubt, ask Lilah’s opinion.”
He snorted. “Throw the bestie on the sword instead of taking one for the team myself. Solid plan. I like it.”
Okay, so yeah, that made me laugh, and this time I pulled him in for another of thoseamazingkisses. He didn’t deepen it so I did, his lips parting for me as I traced the seam with the tip of my tongue. My clit and nipples and every other erogenous zone in my body called me a dumbass for not ripping off my clothes right that moment, but I sensed he would not push.
Not unless I asked him to.
“Can I call you Daddy?” I whispered against his lips.
He tipped his head back once more. “Baby, you can call me whatever you want. Sir, Daddy, Your Royal Dumbassedness.”
I laughed at that one.
“Eh, location-appropriate, obviously,” he added.
“‘Sir’ when we’re among vanillas?” Because I guess I technically wasn’t a vanilla anymore.
“We’re nowhere close to having all our limits discussed, you know,” he said. “I don’t want to trigger you in a bad way. So you need to speak up and talk to me, safeword if something happens, even if it’s not in a kinky situation.”
I nodded. “I think ‘red’ is easiest. We can always change that later.”
“Fair enough. How about when we’re out and about, if we’re not alone and one of us calls the other by our first name, we know something’s going on. Unless you need to pull me aside immediately, we know to discuss it as soon as possible later.”
“I like that. It’s simple.” I traced his jawline with my finger, the slight stubble there lightly rasping against my flesh. He usually didn’t shave on his days off and the slight scruff he developed always did… something to me.
Fine. It made me wet. Happy?
