She moves faster than I anticipate, her open palm connecting with my cheek, leaving a sharp stinging sensation. My fingersitch to reach up and touch it, to try and soothe the sting and hide the large red handprint I know is beginning to bloom. But instead, I inhale slowly, placing my palms on the floor and using them to force my body to stand on two trembling legs.
“I’m going to pick up Jovie, and her and I are going away for a while, because she deserves better than this. I deserve better than this!” I growl through clenched teeth, fighting a second round of tears and a complete and utter mental breakdown. “I’m not going to stay here and let you destroy us both.”
“Why do you have to be such a bitch!” She swings again, this time though, I’m ready, and I lean out of her reach so her hand flies past my face. The force throws her off balance and she stumbles, crashing into my bed, her head barely missing the corner of my side table. “I’ve done eve…” Hiccup. “…everything for you! Ungrateful brat!”
This is usually where the thick cloud of guilt fills the room, swirling in like smog, making it difficult to breathe. She’d lay it on thick, using it to choke me until I finally give in and beg her to stop, not wanting to see this woman who I desperately wanted to look up to and be proud of, sit here broken.
She’d start apologizing.
Promising to do better.
And I would accept every word like it was gospel.
Because she’s my mom.
But I’m a mom too.
And it was almost impossible for me to comprehend ever hurting Jovie in the way she hurt me. Hell no, my daughter will never feel that kind of hurt. She’ll never be guilted into loving me, she’ll never see me as anything but a pillar of strength, and someone she can look up to and be proud of.
Someone she can aspire to be.
I want more for my daughter.
And here, right now, is where that is going to start.
I shake my head, stepping around Mom’s crumpled body and pulling open the top drawer of my dresser, digging my hand in deep beneath the mess of clothes I never wear. They’re only there as a distraction. Right in the back, I wrap my fingers around an old, rolled up shirt and pull it out, quickly unwrapping it to reveal a handful of cash, at least eight hundred dollars.
I quickly shove the bills into my jeans pocket and toss a few of mine and Jovie’s clothes into the old backpack. Thankfully, I’d started stashing the emergency money a few months back, maybe because I knew eventually this was coming.
We’re going to need it, given I don’t have much in my account, I’m not expecting a paycheck for nearly another three days, and I’m about to make us homeless.
“Brynn!” her voice screeches as I storm out and leave her in the bedroom, the sharp, high-pitched tone quickly melting into a heart wrenching sob. “I’m so…ray, I’m sorry! Halp…”
I pause at the small side table in our entranceway, fighting my body's natural reaction to go back to her. That’s all I’ve ever known.
While this situation isn’t new, every step after this, will be.
If I choose to take them.
Take them.
Take them.
I inhale a deep breath and reach for the keys on the table—the keys to the car I’m barely ever allowed to drive, clutching them tight in my fingers as I exhale.
Then, without turning back, I walk straight toward the front door of the apartment and once again flick over the four locks and yank it open, lifting my chin high as I look out into the rain, knowing things are about to be different.
And scary.
The second I step out there, Jovie and I will be on our own.
So as the rain hits my face and I close the door behind me, stepping out into the world, I don’t know what’s coming next.
But I do know it’s better than what we’re leaving behind.
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 2 - BRYNN
