She clutched her chest, her cheeks turning the brightest shade of pink. “No, it’s fine. I mean, it’snotfine… I mean… I don’t have a fiancé.”
I blinked, my curiosity already at full peak. “You don’t? What?—”
“It’s none of your business, Lincoln,” she snapped. “That shouldn’t have happened. It never happened.”
I quirked an eyebrow at that, as I watched her with growing concern and guilt. She looked more flustered than I’d ever seen her. She gathered her handbag and notepad with shaky fingers.
“Ava—”
“No.” She held up a finger. “Please, just tell Jaden I had to go.”
I sighed. “Don’t go. Let’s talk about this.”
“Just stay away from me, Lincoln.”
It was the desperate plea and the shimmer of hurt in her voice that made me stay put when she took off. I hated being the cause of her distress. My fingers curled into fists as I just stood there, rooted to the spot. My actions had hurt her years ago, and I might never forgive myself for it. But back then, I thought I had been doing what was best for her.
9
AVA
I drove as far as I could until I had to pull over. The tears gathering in my eyes blurred my vision, and my hands were trembling around the steering wheel. I threw the car into park but didn’t turn it off. The soft hum of the engine kept me grounded. Barely.
I needed a moment to gather myself, but it wasn’t happening. The longer I sat there, the thicker the air got. It was hard to breathe, as if my chest was on the verge of caving in. All of this from one stupid kiss… alright, it wasn’t stupid. It was everything… maybe too much.
That kiss drove home that I’d never actually dealt with my pain from years ago. If I had, it wouldn’t have affected me so much. When Lincoln shattered my heart, I locked all the emotions away and pretended to be okay. That one moment of passion showed me there was still something simmering between us, and it scared me. I couldn't afford to go back there, to that place where I was so in love I couldn't see reality…
Twelve years ago…
The curtains swung open with a softwhooshas I yanked them apart. I gasped at the view through the glass. The sun was setting. It looked as if there was a gorgeous fire blazing on the horizon—gold bleeding into streaks of pink and lavender. In front of it was the sparkling surface of the sea. The tide had pulled back, revealing a stretch of white sand.
“Lincoln,” I breathed, stepping closer to the glass door of the beach house he’d rented for the weekend. “It's beautiful.”
Behind me, I heard the soft rustle of our bags being dropped and then his footsteps coming closer. He didn’t touch me, but I felt his warmth on my back. His tall, comforting presence made me feel entirely safe.
“I told you it was worth the drive,” he murmured.
“I can’t believe you rented a whole Airbnb and on the seaside no less,” I murmured, still staring at the pretty picture of our weekend backyard.
His arms circled my waist then, and I leaned into him. “Maybe I’m trying to impress my girlfriend.”
I smiled, my heart sprinting a hundred miles a minute. It did that a lot with Lincoln, even when we just spoke on the phone. After that kiss three months ago, all we had were chats over the phone. A part of me was terrified he’d lose interest. But he came back for the summer, and he wanted to be with me. I was excited about our summer together. It was all we had before he was gone again. I’d enjoy every minute of it.
“This weekend is going to be great,” he announced, pulling away. “Come on, let’s get started with dinner.”
The weekend was indeed great. The best. Spending time with Lincoln like that only made me fall deeper in love with him. On the second night of our getaway, we lay on a heap of blankets and pillows sprawled across the porch that overlooked the ocean. It was quiet except for the sound of waves crashing gently in thedistance and the faint rustle of leaves moving in the breeze. Salt clung to the air and to our skin after our swim earlier.
My head rested on Lincoln’s shoulder. He had one arm wrapped around me and the other tucked behind his head. We hadn’t said much in the past few minutes. We didn’t have to. The silence between us had never been awkward. It was full of warmth and ease. The kind that made you feel as if you were exactly where you were supposed to be, with who you were supposed to be with.
“Did Ethan give you crap about not hanging out with him this weekend?” I asked after a while. I was worried about their relationship. After our first kiss, Lincoln confessed to feeling bad—not about our kiss but because he knew Ethan would be pissed.
There wasn’t much going on between us at the time, so I told him we should keep things secret. But then our conversations got more intense. They went on longer each night, and our feelings for each other grew. I snuck away to meet him for our first official date because I couldn’t wait for the summer. We knew then that things were serious between us. We were still so young, but we knew.
Then, when Lincoln came home for the summer, he was ready to tell Ethan about us. I begged him not to. I wasn’t ready to be the girl who came between best friends. He said he’d wait… for now.
“He did, but he let up when I told him I was ditching him for a girl. Technically, I didn’t lie to him. He said he was happy for me because I’m finally dating again.”
My lips twisted wryly. If only Ethan knew the girl in question. Lincoln told me it was hard to juggle a social life with school and football, so he hadn’t dated for a while.
