“Bill really likes it.” I sipped my spiced chai. I tried to visit Davena often—especially when my thoughts weighed heavy. As my godparents, she and Mack knew me better than most. And that was lucky, because Davena always gave great advice.
“I’m on the fence,” I admitted.
“Why’s that?”
“I guess it just doesn’t feel like the right place. Across the street, there’s thisterriblehome—”
Her eyebrows shot up. “As in dangerous?”
“No, no. I mean run-down, overgrown, probably a hazard. But . . . the bones are amazing. It has lots of potential. And character. I shouldn’t like it, but I do.” I indicated the postcard. “This house, though—it didn’t inspire anything for me. And maybe that’s a good thing? To feel emotionally detached about a decision like this? Bill isn’t, though. He has his heart set on it.”
She sighed loudly. “Well, sometimes you have to compromise a bit.”
I cupped my hands around the steaming mug. “But I’m already compromising.”
“How?”
I pursed my lips. “I’m not ready to leave the city. I’m happy here.”
“But you won’t be far.”
“It’s not the same to me.”
“It wouldn’t be to me, either,” she said. “Why are you leaving then?”
“Bill’s the opposite. He wants something quieter.” I scratched under my nose. “And . . . he’s ready for, you know . . . the ‘B’ word.”
“Ah. Babies.” She handed back the postcard and looked down at me. “You sayhe’sready, which indicates you’re not.”
“I don’t know how to feel,” I said. “I don’t see myself as a mother, but Bill says that will come. I’m just not able to picture it, so I can’t give him the answer he wants. Oranyanswer, really. Did you ever regret not having children?”
“We did have one,” she said. “Many years ago—but he didn’t make it a day.”
I frowned. “I had no idea, Davena. All these years, you’ve never mentioned him.”
“You were a baby when it happened,” she said, waving her hand. “God’s plan. I just didn’t have the heart to try again, and Mack was supportive. Next thing I knew, I was just too old. But no, I don’t regret it—kids aren’t for everyone.” She smiled to herself. “Mack would’ve made quite a father, though.”
She left the room but returned a minute later in just a bra and drawstring pants with a brush in her hand. She teased her short, blonde hair in jerky, upward motions. “You know, not everywhere is going to feel like home right away. It takes time. It’s about who you make the home with. With Bill, it doesn’t matter where you live. Does it?”
Her brow arched with a question that sounded rhetorical and was surely meant to make me think. I agreed. It didn’t matter where we lived, Bill and Ishouldbe home for each other.
As Davena spoke, I couldn’t peel my eyes from the large bandage on her ribcage and the purple bruise spreading from both ends of it.
She stopped brushing and dropped her hand to her side to catch her breath. After a moment, she sat down next to me. “The doctor’s not optimistic, Liv.” Her sunken eyes twinkled anyway. “I’ve made peace with that, though. And I’m not in much pain. All right?”
For her to admit there wasanypain, it had to be serious. I balanced my mug on my thigh and reached for her hand. “We should talk about it.”
“We should talk about you,” she said.
“Davena—”
“Please, dear. Take my mind off death and tell me about life. What’s new?”
I couldn’t refuse a request like that. “Bill and I are going away this weekend with Lucy and her fiancé. Bill’s been working overtime, so it’ll be nice to get a break.”
“Wonderful idea. Show that Bill of yours how much you appreciate his hard work.” She lowered her voice. “Get yourself over to La Perla before you go. Look for Alejandro. He’s gorgeous, but he knows shit about lingerie.” She patted my hand, then waved hers. “So when you’re done looking at him, ask for Joanne. Tell her to put it on my account.”
I laughed. “I can’t remember the last time I spent money on good lingerie.”
