My mouth fell open, and we stared at each other for a tense moment. His anger came from a place of concern, but did he really think he could prohibit me from seeing someone?
“It’s not safe,” David said, softer but still heatedly.
“Is this about my safety? Or something else?” I stood and walked across the room, stopping a couple feet in front of him. “I’m so sorry for how I handled things this week, but I’ve made up my mind. I choose you. Things are completely done with Bill. He’s not a threat.”
“That’s not my concern,” David said, unmoving. “Bill is unstable. I don’t want you in a position where you might get hurt.”
“He’s not unstable, he’s in pain. I know him better than anyone—he won’t hurt me.” I crossed my arms. “All my things are packed. I just have to pick them up.”
“How will you transport them?” David asked.
“Gretchen’s roommate has a truck. My stuff won’t fit in either of your cars anyway.”
“I’ll find something,” he said.
I stared at him. His obstinance could be helpful in some ways, but in this moment, it was uncalled for. Bill had been through enough. I wasn’t going to turn the knife by making him watch my new boyfriend essentially remove me from the life we’d built together. “Thank you for the offer, but you can’t come,” I said. “I’m sorry. It’s not fair to him, and it’s not necessary.”
David’s eyes narrowed. “You’re withmenow, not him. Don’t take his side.”
My anger fizzled slightly. David and I had done a lot of work, and him thinking I’d take Bill’s side over his was definitely a move in the wrong direction. If our roles were reversed, I’d be really hurt by that. I took a deep breath and tried a different approach. “I’m on your side. I love you. So much, that I can’t contain it around you. It seems unfair to rub Bill’s face in how happy I am.” I sighed. “Honey, it’s just a few boxes.”
“Then leave them behind. I’ll replace all of it.”
That would simply put a Band-Aid over a deeper wound. Bill and I would have to deal with each other in the months ahead, and I couldn’t have David trying to control and manage our every interaction. It wasn’t healthy for us or him. “They’re my things,” I said. “I’m going to get them.”
David’s jaw set. “Your safety isn’t a game to me.”
Everything in my body tightened as frustration coursed through me. “Well, it’s happening,” I said and walked over to my bedside table, “so get over it.”
“Excuse me?”
I turned to him, unbuckling my watch, and repeated myself. “I saidget over it.”
He folded his arms over his chest, his biceps bulging under his white t-shirt. “Are you trying my patience on purpose?”
“So what if I am?” I asked, tossing my watch aside. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m about to get pissed the fuck off.”
“What do you call this?” I asked, waving my hand over him. His frame seemed to grow, but I held my ground. David didn’t scare me, but losing myself and my independencedid. “You can’t come,” I said. “And nowI’mpissed the fuck off.”
He was almost vibrating. “I told you,” he said, each word sharp as it sliced from his mouth, “you’re not to be alone with him.” He walked toward the bed, bearing down until we were face to face, but still, his voice rose. “He touches you, and that’s onme. What are you going to do with Gretchen there if Bill tries to hurt you? Huh?” When I just stared at him, he smacked the wall next to us. “Answer me.”
My eyes stayed riveted on him as his anger radiated around us. It wasn’t anger, though—it was fear. Even though I dealt with my anxieties differently, I still recognized them in him. I was terrified of losing David now that I’d found him, and he felt the same about me. He truly believed Bill could hurt me.
But before I could think of a way to convince David that wasn’t true, or even ease his fears, he turned and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
I didn’t want to fight with him. I hated to see him hurt, but I had to set boundaries. David had no right to order me around. In this case, he was wrong. Bill didn’t deserve to have his broken nose rubbed in my new relationship.
I climbed back onto the bed, wondering where David had gone. I hoped he hadn’t left the apartment. His apartment. His bed.Ihad nowhere to go when I was upset. Would he even want me sleeping beside him? DidIwant that knowing we’d each be fuming all night?
I grabbed a pillow and silently opened the door. Light spilled out from under the closed door of his office. Relieved that he hadn’t left, I skipped the guest room in favor of curling up on the couch by the fireplace.
I sank into the pillow, promising myself that we’d work it out in the morning. That once he’d cooled off, he’d see things from my perspective. He had to. If he couldn’t, he’d have to find a way to work through this issue, because I wasn’t giving in.
* * *
I heaved a sigh and opened my bleary eyes. In the dark, orange light from the fireplace flickered over David’s marble features as he looked down at me on the couch. Even through my sleepiness, his handsome face took my breath away. Were his eyes so intense that they could pierce my sleep?
