His gaze fixed intently on me. “Did you really call Dani a—what was it? Judgmental bitch?”
I swallowed and tried to look contrite as my cheeks heated. “I mean, she was talking shit about you and me.”
He shook his head. “Scrappy, honey. I’m just glad you and Gretchen are onmyside.”
“Gretchen’s been rooting for you since she found out the truth about us. Especially since she called you while Bill was out of town and told you to come to my apartment. I don’t know what you said to her, but she bought it.”
“I wasn’t trying to sell her anything. I didn’t even have to tell her I was miserable. I just told her the truth . . . that I love you. That I’d purchased the house so I could curl up in front of the fire with you. Throw a ball in the front yard with Alex or with . . .”
My stomach flipped with what he didn’t say. It was unlike David to hesitate or beat around the bush. I fidgeted with the strap of my bikini. “Were you going to say with your own son?”
“Yeah,” he said with a gentle smile.
Kids. The topic had spurred the worst fights between Bill and me, and the sting was still fresh. My perspective on life had drastically changed since David. Had this part changed, too?
I took a moment to picture David with a young, teenaged version of himself, tossing a football in fall with the turning leaves as a backdrop as I watched from our porch. My heart melted. It was sweet. But was it enough to make me want to be a mom?
What if the answer was no?
My stomach churned at the thought of getting back on that rollercoaster of trying to figure out what I wanted, what I owed David, and what my desires—or lack thereof—could do to a new relationship.
Thankfully, David kept talking. “So, if I’m to understand correctly, you’ve spent the week hearing from Bill and Dani that I’m a player who will soon grow tired of monogamy.”
“More or less,” I said. “But I have Gretchen and my dad to thank for setting me straight.”
“I owe them then.”
“My dad said that even though he loves and misses Gina, his second wife, he wouldn’t change a thing about their relationship. He said he doesn’t regret loving her.”
“Why would he regret loving her?”
“I asked if he did,” I said.
David inched toward me. “You asked that because . . .?”
“He’s been through a lot with her, and I can tell he’s hurting over their breakup.”
“But why would anyone regret loving someone?” David asked.
“When you love that hard, it’s almost inevitable that someone will end up hurt,” I said. “Why do so many people risk it? My dad explained that even though he still loves Gina but can’t be with her, he wouldn’t change their history.” I reached out for David’s hand and drew him closer, until we were face to face. “I get it now. After last night, after whatever it was you broke through, I get it. If all this,us, went away tomorrow, at least I’d have these moments right now.”
David put his arms around my shoulders. After a quick peck, he drew back and looked into my eyes. “When you actually talk to me, it helps me see why you’ve made certain decisions.”
“I knew it was fucked up,” I whispered. “But I didn’t know how to change it. I didn’t know letting go could be so right. But seeing you in pain was far worse than my own pain.”
“Fuck, but I was afraid I’d never get through.”
I touched his face. “I’m sorry.”
“Olivia,” he said, tucking my wet strands behind my ear, “promise me you won’t hide from me. I not onlywantto hear what you’re thinking, I have to. In order for us to be a team and move forward, you have to be forthcoming with me.” He smiled mischievously. “I’m fascinated with your every move, and it scares me because I’ve never felt that way before.”
“You get scared?”
“Of course. The moment we made eye contact, I became vulnerable in a new way, too. I was scared the first time I kissed you at Lucy’s office—I thought I’d pushed you away. It scared me that you wanted to stay with Gretchen this week instead of me.” He frowned. “I get scared, too. Who saysyouwon’t be the one to wake up one morning and leave?”
“I won’t,” I promised.
“Trust, baby. It’s all we’ve got.”
