Shit. I couldn’t believe Bill had gone behind my back and told my mother anything before I could gather my thoughts. How much did she know? After all the accusations she’d levied against my father over the years, I knew what was coming. I curled my toes against the bedroom’s wood floors. “Mom, things are very complicated—”
She gasped. “So it’s true? You cheated on him?”
David crouched at my feet, and my eyes slid to his. I held on to the encouragement in them as I prepared to break my mom’s already damaged heart. He placed a hand on my knee, and I covered it.
“Yes,” I said, holding David’s gaze. “It’s true.”
“How could you?” she screeched, and I jerked the phone away from my cheek. “I raised you to be a lady, not aslut.”
David flinched, and his hand twitched on my leg, no doubt tempted to take the phone from me.
“It’s not like that,” I said, clenching and unclenching my jaw. “I didn’t end things for a fling. My relationship with David is serious.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. YouloveBill, and he doesn’t deserve this. What has he ever done to hurt you?”
I wasn’t playing this game with her. As long as Bill stayed in the role of the good husband, she’d never be able to understand my reasons for leaving. David wiped away my tear before I realized it was there. “I’m sorry, Mom,” I said. “I know this must be hard for you to hear.”
“It’s just nonsense. You stop this immediately, and go take care of your poor husband. That poor, poor man.”
“I can’t,” I said. “I can’t be the wife he needs, because I don’t love him the way I should. I made my choice.”
“A womanizer who can’t keep his hands off a married woman?” she asked.
Womanizer. That was Bill’s word. “David’s not like that,” I said.
“Oh, Bill told me everything. Bill deserves better than this. He deserves better than you.”
She’d always thought she’d deserved better, too—than my dad. Than her daughter. In her eyes, I’d been an enemy who’d taken my dad’s attention away, and then takenhimaway after their divorce. I choked back a sob. “How can you say that to me? You’re my mother.”
“Because I know what it feels like to be betrayed. How could youcheatafter you saw what I went through?”
“Dad didn’t even cheat on you,” I cried in exasperation. “It’s in your head—it always has been.”
“This is all his fault. Your father did this, always pampering you. He spoiled you, and now you only know how to be selfish. After everything I went through, how could you turn around and destroy a husband who’s always been there for you? You’re selfish,” she slurred, “and you’re a fool to ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“Mom, you haven’t even heard my—” With a fewbeeps, I pulled the phone away and stared down at the blank screen. “She hung up on me . . .”
Selfish, undeserving, foolish. She’d called me names before, but they’d never felt so true. I couldn’t deny that I’d sacrificed Bill’s happiness for my own.
I didn’t cry over my mother—it was just something I didn’t do anymore. So I was confused when I set the phone down, put my face in my hands, and burst into tears. The bed dipped with David’s weight, and he lifted me onto his lap, where he rocked me back and forth, whispering comforting words in my hair.
“My mom . . . doesn’t . . . love . . . me,” I sobbed.
“Oh, baby,” he said, clutching me to him.
I looked up at him suddenly and searched his eyes. “This will get better, won’t it?” I asked. “Easier?”
“Yes.” He paused, stroking my hair. “But until it does, you have me. Let me have some of the hurt.”
I nuzzled into his chest again, taking a deep whiff through a runny nose. Then, I imagined Bill calling and telling her everything—how I’d lied to him for months, had used Davena’s death as an excuse, had confessed everything over pancakes, had given back the ring and asked for a divorce on a cold, bleary, and otherwise unremarkable night. I cried harder.
“Hey,” David said softly, moving me back by my shoulders to look at me. “We’ll not only make it through this, but we’ll come out better for it. We have something strong. Stronger than all the bullshit.”
Do we?I wondered.Can love alone overcome everyone and everything—even ourselves?
“I hope so,” I murmured, wiping my wet tears from his bare chest. The wordsslutandwomanizerrang through my ears, a perfect pair. But the man who held me softened the blows. Though I wanted nothing more than to stay there, he set me on the bed and disappeared into the bathroom.
Oh, what a mess I’ve made. Bill is heartbroken and blindsided. I’ve lost friends, and now maybe even family. And what will my dad say when I see him next weekend? Why have I done this? What have I done? Is it worth it?
