I widened my eyes. I truly hadnotthought about that—there’d been no time. “Already?” I asked. “David and I haven’t even been on an official date yet. We should probably start there. Shacking up is serious.”
“Hel-lo?” she said. “Did you not just end your marriage for him? I’d say that’s pretty serious.”
“No, I know. But really, Gretch, David helped me see the cracks in my marriage. I’m doing this for myself, not just for him. And I don’t want to put too much pressure on us.”
“Pressure?” she asked.
“Well, yeah. Ending my marriage for him?” I scratched the tip of my nose. “I mean, I don’t want David to feel like he owes me anything.”
She sipped her coffee. “Don’t do that.”
I glanced over at her. “Do what?”
“Don’t prep yourself for disaster before things even get started.”
“I’m not,” I said defensively. “I’m just trying to be realistic. David and I have time now. I don’t want to push him. Or myself.” I paused, chewing on my bottom lip. “I mean, I don’t even know if he’s ever lived with a woman.”
It occurred to me, not for the first time, that I was essentially leaving my life behind for a man I didn’t know much about.
Gretchen twisted her lips as she thought. “I don’t know. Dude seems pretty intent on taking things to the next level with you.”
I laughed at how accurate that was. If it were up to David, we’d be much further along already. “Yeah, but, don’t forget—youwere the one who kept reminding me he’s a bachelor who’s spent his life doing what he wants . . . and who he wants. This may take some getting used to for him.” I massaged the back of my neck as we slowed down on the sidewalk. “Like I said, we’ve got something we didn’t have before—time.”
“True. All right, girl,” Gretchen said, breaking off toward her train. “See you tonight?”
“Yup.”
She started to leave but turned and came back to me. “I’m serious, Liv. Don’t start this relationship with one foot out the door. Believe David when he tells you what he wants.”
Ididbelieve him. I’d had to in order to take the leap of faith I had. But trusting in a relationship built on passion and lust that had seemingly become love overnight? I wasn’t so sure. Relinquishing control in favor of blind faith would be a process—with an outcome I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to fully achieve.
* * *
Saturday morning, I re-packed the small duffel bag I’d taken from my apartment to Gretchen’s. My nerves frayed with anticipation, excitement, and unfortunately, guilt. Spending a weekend with another man felt wrong, but spending it wrapped up in David could only be all kinds of right.
It was only when I realized David had never responded to the last text I’d sent him that some anxiety crept into my thoughts. Since he’d left Gretchen’s apartment, we’d been in constant contact, planning to meet up for breakfast today. But when I’d written him last night to triple check our plans, he hadn’t responded.
Gretchen invited herself to breakfast, I figured because she had a habit of being nosy, so we walked arm in arm to the café David and I had decided on.
Once seated inside the bustling brunch spot, I unfolded a napkin onto my lap. “I started researching apartments yesterday,” I told Gretchen. “God, it’s been a while since I looked. I can’tbelievehow expensive rent will be on my own.”
“That’s why I have roommates,” she said and shrugged. “Honestly, having people around isn’t so bad. Remember how much fun we had when we were roomies?”
“I’m going to be adivorcée,” I pointed out. “I can’t have roommates.”
“No? Not even David?” She smirked. “Maybe you should see if he wants to split rent?”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s definitely too soon for us to move in together.”
Gretchen nodded, looking over her menu. “I really envy what you’re doing, you know,” she said.
“Which part?” I asked. “Cheating on my husband, blowing up my marriage, or falling for someone who could have literally any woman in Chicago?”
Gretchen closed her menu and leaned on the table. “He choseyou, Liv. Trust in that.” She tilted her head. “What you’re doing is risking everything for love. To know so strongly based on a feeling alone that you want to be with David? That’s amazing.”
I let that new perspective sink in as the waiter poured three glasses of water. Could I try viewing my situation through that lens instead of just thinking of myself as terribly selfish? “I think I knew David was ‘the one’ the moment we locked eyes,” I said thoughtfully. “I just couldn’t see it through everything else.”
“So that would make it love at first sight,” Gretchen pointed out and smiled mischievously. “And you went on and on at Lucy’s bachelorette about how you believed soulmates were bullshit.”
