“No, it’s okay,” Lucy said, scooting closer to me. “How am I being idealistic?”
“I mean, Luce, really?” I said. “You and Andrew haven’t even walked down the aisle yet. You’re practically still in the honeymoon phase.”
Her mouth parted. “Andrew and I aren’t like others. We have something unique and special. True romance.”
“Honey, romance is fleeting,” I said, waving a hand in the air. “When it fades away, you have to know that you and Andrew will still be able to stand each other.”
“Call me naïve—”
“You said it!” I shrieked, giggling by myself.
“Liv, shut up,” Gretchen said.
“I don’t think that the romance will ever just ‘fade away’ for us,” Lucy said.
“I agree, Lucy,” Ava cut in. “You and Andrew are meant to be. I envy you guys. I can’t wait to meet my soulmate.”
“There’s no such thing as soulmates, Ava.” Alcohol warmed me for what felt like the first time in months. Or maybe it was the opportunity to be honest for once that was making me feel semi-normal. “That’s just a bunch of fairy-tale bullshit,” I said. “The sooner everyone realizes that, the better.”
“Come on, Olivia,” Gretchen said, taking my elbow. “Let’s go take a breather.”
I pulled my arm away from her. “What? It’s true. Marriage is work. You’ll see soon enough. That euphoric stage wears off pret-ty quick-ly. I’m not being cynical; it’s science.” When I noticed their frowns, I nodded. “Yep, science. Hormones, oxy—” I hiccupped, “—tocin, and shit like that. Not very romantic, is it?”
“What about earlier when you went to call Bill?” Lucy countered. “Some might say that was a romantic gesture.”
I glanced down at the table and took one of those painful breaths, the ones where you feel the simultaneous constricting of everything in your chest. I thought about confessing that I hadn’t gone outside to call Bill but to remind myself of why things were better off as they were. It was only a brief moment, though, and instead, I said, “That exactly proves my point. Being around all of you makes me want to call Bill and tell him that I love him.”
“Which is romantic,” someone said.
I nodded. “It is, but why should I have to be reminded of that? Because relationships aren’t always that way. Sometimes you forget that you’re madly in love.” My nostrils flared as I held in another hiccup. “Happens to everyone.”
“Olivia, for fuck’s sake—”
“Sorry, Gretchen,” I said, shrugging. “But I don’t want Lucy to be disappointed.”
“Are you disappointed?” Bethany asked.
“No, because I learned early on what marriage is about,” I said. “It’s about stability, and partnership, and it takes a lot of work. Thinking that it will be easy because it’s ‘true love’ is stupid. That’s just another form of faith for those who can’t deal with reality.”
“That’s enough,” Dani said.
I frowned at Lucy’s sister. “Better to be prepared.”
“I really don’t think Andrew and I are that way,” Lucy said. “We’re—”
“Different?” I interjected.
“Yes.”
I nodded. “I hope you are.”
“Don’t listen to her,” Dani said, comforting her sister by taking her hand. “Just because her marriage is—”
I didn’t catch what Dani said. All I heard was the echo of David’s warnings months ago.
“If you want a satisfactory marriage with someone who’s incapable of loving you the way you deserve . . .”
“I mean, I get what you’re saying,” Lucy said to me. “I know you and Bill work at your marriage, but I’m excited to work together with Andrew. I love him. There’s no one else I would have wanted to do this with.”
