“I used to have the biggest crush on Ryan,” Sarah says matter-of-factly.
I stare at her, shocked.
Sarah shrugs. “Ryan’s gorgeous.”
Hannah scoffs. “How the heck did you pick just one Morgan brother to have a crush on?” She looks toward the swimming pool, her face etched with obvious appreciation for the men playing in the water. (The Morgan brothers are currently throwing Coco from man to man like a beach ball). “They’re all freaks of nature, just like Kat,” Hannah says. “Freaks, freaks, freaks. It’s not fair how much hotness is contained within one family. I feel like I’m watching that volleyball scene fromTop Gun,onlywaybetter.”
Sarah and I both giggle and agree.
“So does Ryan know about your old crush on him?” Hannah asks Sarah, giving voice to the exact question I’m wondering myself.
“Hellz no,” Sarah replies. “I never said a word. I did tell Kat about it at the time and asked her to find out if maybe he was interested in taking me out, but she refused.”
“Why?” Hannah asks.
“Kat said Ryan would break my heart and then it would be weird at birthday parties and stuff.”
My heart leaps into my throat. Oh, shit. Did Sarah just describe my future to a tee?
Sarah continues, “This was years ago, of course, and, apparently, Ryan had just gotten out of some relationship and was really sowing his wild oats. Total player. So Kat was like, ‘Unless my brother’s fully prepared to make you happy for the rest of your life—which he’ssonot—I’m not gonna let him touch you.’ So that was that.” She smiles broadly. “And thank God she refused, right? Or, heck, maybe Ryan wouldn’t have been interested, anyway. But, seriously, imagine how weird it’d be now if wehadgone out.” She shudders at the mere thought.
Oh, Jesus. I’m suddenly reeling. What have I done? Have I ensured everything’s gonna be weird every time I see Ryan from now on?
“Plus, think about the butterfly effect,” Hannah says. “What if dating Ryan back then would have somehow kept you from meeting Jonas when you did.”
“Ooph. I shudder to think about it,” Sarah says. “Plus, nowadays, Ryan feels like a brother to me—the same as Josh or Henn. He’s objectively gorgeous, of course—I mean, just look at him—but the minute I met Jonas, I instantly knew the difference between having a crush on a guy, even a massive one, and meeting the true love of my life. Once you’ve finally experienced true love, there’s just no comparison.”
“Aw,” Hannah says. “You and Jonas are so amazing. Hashtag-relationship-goals.”
“You and Henny, too,” Sarah says. “I predict you’ll be following in Jonas’ and my footsteps before long.”
“Oh, for sure.”
Sarah squeals. “Really? Have you two talked about marriage?”
“Yeah, right after I caught the bouquet at your wedding, Henny and I talked about...”
I tune out, too freaked out to continue listening. When I met Ryan for the first time, it felt worlds different than any other time I’ve met a man—far, far different than when I met Stu or any other boyfriend. With all those previous guys, I’d felt sparks, sure, like I was meeting a crush, just like Sarah said, but when I met Ryan, oh, man, instantly, I felt something brand new, something otherworldly, like I was meeting...No. I can’t even let myself think it. It’s ridiculous. Preposterous. Out of bounds.A recipe for a broken heart.
“Hey, T-Rod,” Hannah says, drawing me out of my thoughts. “I keep noticing Kat and Sarah and Mrs. Morgan calling you Tessa. And yet it seems like Josh and Henn and all those guys keep calling you Theresa. Do you have a preference?”
“Tessa, honestly,” I say. “That’s what my friends and family have always called me.”
“Okay, then,” Hannah says, smiling. “Tessa it is.”
There’s a shrieking giggle in the pool and we look over there to find Coco sitting atop Ryan’s broad shoulders, battling Keane and Zander to the death in a game of chicken.
“Oh my God,” Hannah says. “My left ovary exploded when the Morgan brothers played ‘dolphin’—and now my right ovary’s gone, too.”
“He’s so freaking hot,” I blurt, without meaning to say it.
But neither woman seems at all fazed by my comment, thank God.
“A man who loves kids,” Hannah says, sighing. “Gets me every time.”
We all watch the battle for a long time, our tongues on the ground and our hearts throbbing, until finally, Coco pushes on Keane’s gorgeous chest with all her little might and Keane and Zander topple backward dramatically into the pool, much to Coco’s shrieking delight.
As Keane and Zander punch the surface of the pool like sore losers, Ryan guides Coco to stand atop his broad shoulders like a cheerleader, his strong hands gripping her calves, and takes her on a victory lap around the shallow end of the pool.
