But I’m getting ahead of myself. Sex with a hot stranger is what’s on tap a week from now. Right now, I’ve still got a thousand and one things to do to ensure this week goes off without a hitch. And do them, I shall.
I grab my phone and tap out a quick text: “Aloha, boss. I’m standing at the door to your bungalow. Remember our 2:00 meeting, Mr. Faraday? I’ve got a bunch of stuff to tell you and Kat before the Morgan group arrives in an hour.”
Thirty seconds later, I receive a reply from my darling and ever distractible boss: “Sorry, Miss Rodriguez. The almost-Mrs. and I got sidetracked.” Winking emoji. “We’re hopping into the shower now. Come on in and grab some rum punch from the bar and we’ll be out in a Hawaiian minute. JWF.”
19
Ryan
“The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run.”
“You wanna watch a movie?” Colby asks. He holds up his iPad. “I’ve gotThe Droploaded up. Tom Hardy.”
“Oh, yeah, Dax said that was really good,” I say. “Lemme just hit the bathroom first.” I unbuckle my seatbelt and move up the aisle, high-fiving and fist-bumping every passenger along my route. My glad-handing isn’t nearly as creepy as it sounds, by the way, since I’m flying on a private jet filled exclusively with my immediate and extended family and their plus-ones. But when I get to the bathroom, it’s occupied, so I stand and chat with my cousin Julie and her brand-new husband and stepdaughter, Coco.
“How old are you again, Coco?” I ask.
“Eight.”
“That’s right. I liked being eight—I slayed life when I was eight.” I notice the book on Coco’s lap:Charlotte’s Web. “You like that book?”
“It’s my favorite. I’ve already read it three times.”
“What’s your favorite part?”
“When Charlotte writes stuff like ‘humble’ and ‘terrific’ in her web to save Wilbur’s life.”
“Yeah, that’s cool. I liked that part, too.” I look at the bathroom door. It’s still occupied. “So, hey, Coco, can I ask you a huge favor? Will you be my partner for chicken in the pool this week? My brother Keane said he and his best friend, Zander, are gonna ‘beat my butt’ in chicken, no matter what partner I choose, so I wanna get a really good one to make sure I beat the crud out of them.” I lean forward. “I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to talk to Keane much yet, but let’s just say if he were Wilbur, Charlotte wouldn’t be writing ‘humble’ in her web about him.”
Coco shoots me a gap-toothed smile. “I know. When Keane was standing here waiting for the bathroom a minute ago, he said he was gonna ‘beat my butt’ in hula dancing.” She rolls her eyes.
“And what’d you say to that?”
“I said, ‘There’s no such thing as beating someone’s butt in hula dancing,Keane,’ and he goes, ‘Yeah, keep telling yourself that, small fry—that’s what losers in hula dancing always say.’”
I laugh my ass off. “Dang, Keane’s full of himself. All the more reason for us to team up and beat his butt, right?”
She nods.
“Okay, then, it’s settled: you and me, Coco Puff, we’re gonna take that clown and his best friend downlike they’re the Cleveland Browns wearing sparkly crowns in Chinatown.”
Coco giggles and we shake on it.
Just then, the bathroom door swings open in front of us, and, speak of the arrogant devil himself, Keane-the-Peen-Morgan appears in all his dimpled glory, his muscles bulging under his tight T-shirt, his eyes sparkling. “Yo, Captain,” he says, patting my cheek. “Hey, Coconut.” He fist-bumps her. “You getting yourself mentally prepared for when I’m gonna beat your tiny booty in hula-dancing?”
Coco giggles uproariously. “There’s no such thing, Keane. Hula dancing’s just for fun.”
“If that’s what you think, then you’d better fasten your hula skirt, baby doll, because you’re about to get whooped.”
“Hey now, I wouldn’t rile the ‘baby doll’ up,” I say. “Coco Puff’s just agreed to be my partner in chicken and we’re gonna take you and Zander down.”
Keane clutches his heart. “Say it ain’t so, Coco Chanel Number Five. I wanted you to bemypartner in chicken. I was just smack-talking you as reverse psychology so you’d joinmyteam.”
“Nope,” Coco says, jutting her chin. “Ryan and I are gonna take you and Zander down like, um, Charlie Brown riding a merry-go-round at the dog pound.”
Keane throws his head back and belly laughs at that. “Look at that! She’s already smack-talking like a true Morgan. Awesome!”
My cousin Julie turns to her new husband, Travis. “Sorry, babe, I warned you.”
