As the partygoers around me rock out to the last, energetic chorus of “Bailando,” I scour every inch of the gym in search of Ryan Number Eleven, but, dammit, he’s nowhere to be found. Shoot. He must have left the party already. Well, I guess it’s a sign from the universe: it simply wasn’t meant to be.
Time for me to make like Ryan Number Eleven and get the hell out of Dodge, too. I pull out my phone and tap out a quick message to Josh and Jonas: “Congrats on an amazing grand opening, guys! I’m heading out now. The stage, tables, chairs, etc. will be hauled away at 6:00 and the cleaning crew will come shortly thereafter. I’m so proud of you both and excited to watch you climb and conquer the world! XO T-Rod.”
14
Ryan
“It’s not down on any map; true places never are.”
“Those are the employee-identification cards of all fifty-seven Samanthas currently employed by Delta as flight attendants,” Henn says. “When I couldn’t find a perfect match across the board—name, age, Virgo, hair color, eye color, Spanish-speaking, residence in L.A.—I decided to grab screen shots of every Samantha on their roster, just to be on the safe side.”
I’m standing with Henn and Kat in a small office at the back of Climb & Conquer’s gym, swiping through headshot after headshot of unrecognizable women on Henn’s phone, the muted sounds of Josh and Jonas’ grand opening party wafting through the closed office door. The band’s current song is “Bailando,” just in case I want to be tormented by yet another reminder of Samantha.
“Thanks for trying, Henn,” I say, swiping past the very last photo, my shoulders slumping. I hand Henn’s phone back to him with a long sigh. “Just as you suspected, Samantha’s not here.”
“Yeah, I figured. Sorry, man,” Henn says.
“I’m the one who’s sorry,” I say. “I sent you on a wild goose chase. And I was so sure there were little red triangles on Samantha’s scarf—I would have sworn on a stack of bibles I got that detail right.”
“Meh,” Henn says. “Memory can be a slippery motherfucker. It’s no big deal. Now that we know for sure Samantha’s not with Delta, we’ll just have to expand our search, that’s all.”
“But expand our search to what?” Kat pipes in, taking the words right out of my mouth. “Aren’t there, like, hundreds of airlines in the world?”
“Five thousand, actually,” Henn says. “But onlynineof them, including Delta, had flights from L.A. to Seattle on the day in question.”
“Ooooh,” Kat says. “Brilliant, Henn.”
“I’m confused,” I stammer. “Even if you’re able to narrow the field of potential airlines to eight, how do you know which of those eight to hack?”
“I don’t,” Henn says matter-of-factly. “Which is why I’m gonna hack all eight of ’em, beginning with the biggest and working my way down the list.”
My heart leaps with a sudden jolt of hope. “You’d be willing to do that for me?”
“Of course.”
“But won’t that be a lot of work for you?”
Henn waves at the air. “It’s all good, Captain Morgan. Kat’s been going on and on about what an awesome brother you are and how bad she feels about texting your ex-girlfriend that night; plus, I’m happy to report my life’s the most fucking awesome it’s ever been, thanks to Kat setting me up with my girlfriend, so I’m definitely in the mood to pay it forward by helping Kat’s big brother.” He winks at my sister and she coos like a cockatiel at him.
“Thanks, Henny,” Kat says. “I hate seeing Ryan looking so sad and knowing it’s all my fault.”
“I told you not to worry about it, Kat,” I say. “And I’m not ‘sad’—I’m obsessed and tortured and hurtling into a dark abyss of madness from whence no man could crawl. But I swear I’m not sad.”
We all laugh.
“Unfortunately, I’m not kidding,” I mutter.
“Well, then, dude, it sure sounds like I’d better find this amazing girl for you,” Henn says. “There shall be no ‘hurtling into an abyss of madness’ on my watch, dude.”
“Thanks, Henn. At least let me pay you for your time.”
“Your money’s no good to me, Captain,” Henn replies. “Kat’s family to me—which means you’re family, too.”
“But hacking intoeightairlines?” I say. “Come on, man. That’s too much work to do for free.”
“Bah. The odds are low I’ll need to hack all eight of ’em to find your girl—I might even get lucky and find Samantha at the first airline. Plus, like I said, I owe Kat big. I could hack a thousand airlines for you and still not repay my debt to Kat.”
Kat smiles proudly. “See, Ryan? Unlike you, Henn appreciates my gift for matchmaking.”
