“Hence, the reason I didn’t bring it up while telling everyone what happened tonight.”
Kat exhales in exasperation. “How the hell was I supposed to know Olivia had turned into a bunny-boiling loon? It’s your own damn fault for keeping Peen in the loop and not me. Who does that?”
“When did you talk to him?”
“About thirty minutes after I’d already replied to Olivia’s text, unfortunately. Sure would have been nice if I’d talked to that knuckleheadbeforeOlivia’s fateful text.” She sighs. “I’m really sorry, Ryan.”
“It’s okay, Jizzy Pop.”
Kat snorts. “I must say Peen’s got some rather highfalutin plans for your fifty bucks. You’d think the guy won the Powerball lottery the way he was gloating about his ‘windfall.’”
“Fucking Peen.”
“See, normally, the phrase ‘fucking Peen’ works in any fucked-up situation. But this one time, you can’t blame Magic Mike for your misery, son. KeaneandColby warned you about the loon and you ignored them both? Inexcusable.”
“I fucked up.”
“I mean, come on. I understand going against Peen’s advice, butColby’s? Felony stupid, dude.”
“I just said I fucked up. And you can drop the holier-than-thou attitude, by the way. I seem to recall you ignoring Colby’s sage advice when you brought that senator’s-son-douche home from college that time.”
“How does that help your argument? WhenIignored Colby’s sage advice, I wasn’t a twenty-eight-year-old grown-ass man who’d already witnessed how ignoring Colby’s sage advice had worked out for his stupid-ass little sister. As you might recall, I promptly got obliterated by that douche after ignoring Colby’s advice. Certainly, a more intelligent man would have learned from his sister’s horrendously stupid mistake.”
I take her hand and squeeze it. “Shit. Sorry, Jizz. I shouldn’t have brought that guy up. Colby told me you were really wrecked over that fucker.” I let out a long, dejected exhale. “I’m just a grenade tonight. Save yourself and stay far, far away from the shrapnel.”
“You really liked this flight attendant, huh?”
I nod.
“I had no idea you had a flight attendant fetish.”
“I don’t. Well, I mean, yeah, when she first walked into the bar in her sexy little uniform, I’d be lying if I didn’t instantly imagine a little role-play.”
Kat laughs. “God, we share a brain.”
“But two minutes after I started talking to her, I forgot all about my teenage fantasies and I was just totally into her. The chemistry between us was just through the roof.”
“Like, on a scale of one to ten?”
“Eighty-thousand-and-seventy-three.”
“Holy shitballs.”
“I’ve never felt anything like it—not even close. It felt like...” I trail off and shake my head.
“Like what?”
“Never mind.”
“What?”
“I’m gonna sound like Dax.”
“Well, this I gotta hear.”
I pause.
“Come on, Bacardi,” she says. “You know I love Daxy the most. I won’t judge.”
