“Oh, please. Surely, Josh ‘The Playboy’ Faraday has ogled your double Ds at least a thousand times in six years.”
“Nope. Not once. He’s always been the consummate professional with me. But why are we even talking about this? Josh is marrying Kat and having a baby with her and they’re gonna live happily ever after while I die miserable and alone and untouched by human hands for the rest of my freaking life. There’s nothing to talk about.”
Charlotte laughs. “Oh, Tessa.”
“It’s okay. I’m just having a pity-party today. I’ll bounce back tomorrow. It’s got nothing to do with Josh,per se. I just wish I could find a guy somewhatlikehim out there, you know? A good guy who’s also hot as fuck—and also loyal and faithful and available. Does such a man exist?”
“Well, no offense, but how do you expect to find a guy like that if you never go out and flirt with anyone?”
“I don’t know anyone in Seattle, Char. I’m not gonna go out all by myself to a bar and flirt with strangers.”
Charlotte lets out a loud puff of air. “Okay, that settles it: I’m coming to Seattle.”
“When?”
“Right now. I’m at LAX now—I just got off a shift. I’ll hop the next flight to Seattle and be there in a couple hours. Easy peasy. I won’t even have to miss a day of work—I’m sure I can swap shifts with a friend based in Seattle.”
I let out an excited squeal. “Oh my God, Charlotte. Thank you! I’ve been missing you so much these past three weeks.”
“But, listen up, girl: if I’m gonna fly a thousand miles to see you on a whim, then you’re gonna do what I say tonight. You’re gonna wear the damned uniform I bring you and flirt your hot little ass off, okay?”
“Okay, okay.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Charlotte giggles. “Tonight, you’re not gonna be Josh Faraday’s logistics-arranging, numbers-crunching, spreadsheet-creating executive personal assistant. You’re gonna be ‘Samantha the Randy Flight Attendant.’”
“Oh my God, you nut job. Fair warning, though: I’m not gonna hop into some stranger’s bed, just ’cause I’m wearing a flight-attendant uniform.”
“How long has it been since you’ve slept with someone? Since Stu?”
“Yep. Nine months and three days, but who’s counting?”
“Not even a make-out session?”
“Nothing. Not even a kiss.”
“Ooph. My vagina just vicariously turned to dust. Okay, Theresa Rodriguez, I’m officially your fairy godmother tonight—your wise and slutty fairy godmother—and I’m making it my mission to get you kissed by a hottie tonight.”
“The hottie would have to be pretty damned hot for me to even consider kissing him, but, okay, I’ll keep an open mind. So, where are we gonna find this hottie-I’m-gonna-kiss, Slutty Fairy Godmother?”
“Wise and slutty. Don’t forget the ‘wise’ part.”
“So sorry, darling. So, where are we going?”
“I dunno. I’ll ask my friend based in Seattle where we should go. Just the other day, she was telling me about a couple places she said were hottie-wonderlands. I think one of them was called The Pine Box?”
“Whatever, I’m in. Thanks for coming to see me.”
“I’m not coming to seeyou—I’m coming to see,Samantha.” She giggles.“See you soon, girlie. I love you, Crazy Girl.”
“I love you, too, Nut Job. Bye.”
3
Ryan
