Captain by Lauren Rowe
Prologue
Tessa
Igrip the handwritten letter in my trembling hand, my eyes drifting with disbelief over the familiar, sloping script, my vision blurred by tears.
If I hadn’t read these incomprehensible words with my own eyes, I never would have believed them possible.
If I hadn’t seen them for myself, I would have defended the immutability of his devotion with my dying breath.
And, now, everything I thought I knew about love is shattered.
The love I aspired to have in this life is no more.
What is love?
I thought I knew.
But as it turns out, I have no fucking idea.
1
Ryan
“So far so good,” I say to my little brother, Keane. “I’m in no rush with her, though—we’re just taking things slow.”
My brother and I are sitting in a rented rowboat on Green Lake, just outside Seattle, drinking beer and fishing for trout (though not very well, apparently, since we haven’t had a single bite all day), and I’ve been telling my brother about Olivia, the woman I’ve been seeing casually for about a month.
“You batten down the hatches with her yet?” Keane asks.
I chuckle. Gotta love my brother’s bizarre Keane-speak. “Nah, Olivia and I haven’t talked about exclusivity yet. We’re just keeping it casual, you know? No pressure. No labels.”
“Hold up,” Keane says. “You’re telling me you’ve been bonin’ the fuck outta this chick for a month, Lionel-Richie-style, and she hasn’t so much as dropped ahintshe’d prefer you not stick your dick inside another chick?”
“Well, I currently have no desire to ‘stick my dick’ inside another woman, regardless—not every guy burns through ‘chicks’ as quickly as you do, Peen—I genuinely like focusing all my energies on one woman at a time. But it doesn’t matter, anyway, because, so far, Olivia doesn’t want exclusivity, either. Honestly, she doesn’t seem to have a jealous bone in her body.”
“Bullshit. Every woman’s got at least thirty-seven jealous bones in her body. If this chick isn’t showing you hers, she’s just gaming you.”
“Nah, Olivia’s an open book. Super chill. Honestly, from what I’ve seen so far, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with her.”
“Ooph. Say it ain’t so, Rummy-o. Gigantic red flag, dude. You best be finding at least a couple things wrong with this girl,pronto, or two months from now, you’re gonna find out every damned thing wrong with her, all at once, in a flash flood of batshit-crazy.”
I open my mouth to tell my brother he’s a dumbshit, but before I can say a word, the tip of Keane’s rod bends and jerks sharply, instantly drawing our mutual attention.
“Fish on!” Keane exclaims, leaning forward excitedly.
“Reel him in slowly,” I caution.
“We’re not nine and fifteen, Ry. You don’t have to coach me through this anymore.”
“You’re gonna lose him, Peen. You haven’t set the hook.”
“I know what I’m doing. Watch and learn, son: I’m fucking Ahab.”
Keane continues reeling, but after a few seconds, the tip of his rod straightens and his line goes visibly slack. “Fuck!” Keane shouts. He raises his fist to the sky dramatically. “Damn you, fish gods!”
I laugh my ass off. “Maybe don’t compare yourself to Ahab next time,son. I hate to spoil the ending for you, but Ahab never actually catches the whale.”
