I’m about to respond when a guard approaches from behind me. This guy is one I try to avoid by all means necessary. He makes it his mission to ensure we’re kept in line. His specialty is unethical punishments. “Time’s up, Bowen. Let’s go.”
She yelps at his harsh tone. I glare up at him before stealing another slice of happy from her. “Love you, beautiful. Don’t worry about me. Everything is gonna be okay.”
“I love you—”
The guard clamps a meaty hand on my shirt and jerks me off the chair. The phone clatters out of my grip. “You’re done, inmate.”
Sutton bangs on the glass and my heart cracks from the impact. When I swing my gaze to her, everything goes dark. Streams of fresh tears pour down her face. She’s on the verge of shouting at the man ripping me away.
“Leave him alone. He’s innocent.”
He laughs in my ear. “Quite the spitfire you’ve got there. I bet she’s a tiger in the sack. Maybe I’ll take her for a spin since you’re out of commission.”
Everything inside of me roars at his crude filth. A bellow rips from my throat. I want to smash my elbow into his nose. Instead of getting another sentence tacked on, I focus on my girl. She’s sobbing and alone and I need to be better for her. I mouth the three little words she needs. Sutton returns my sentiment with a watery smile. She draws a line of X’s and O’s on the glass.
“How fucking cute,” the guard spits. “Hold onto that image to get you off later.”
I wrench out of his hold and continue stomping toward my dungeon.
His laugh bounces off the chipping walls. “Better watch yourself, inmate. I can make your stay here far more painful.”
There isn’t a single doubt in my mind that he’d follow through on his threat. That doesn’t mean I’m going to kiss his degrading ass. I pause in the doorway and hold out my bound wrists.
“Maybe I should leave you cuffed. I have plenty of reason after that stunt. It’s a precautionary measure, right?”
What I really want to do is demand Sutton’s letter. But this asshole will only use that weakness against me. I remain silent, narrowing my eyes into thin slits.
The guard reflects my glare, adding a predatory snarl. “Maybe that lenient bitch Matthews has been too soft on you. Breaking you down will be fun, inmate. We’ll start tomorrow so rest up.” His rancid breath burns my nostril. “Get the fuck outta my sight.”
He shoves me backwards into my cell and slams the door. The heavy steel slides shut with a whisper of dusty wind. There’s no resounding clang of metal. No satisfying bang. Technology takes the fun out of it, unlike the movies. Maybe that’s a win in my column. I certainly could use one.
That quiet hum of the lock system initiating is a nail in my coffin. I’m trapped with my hands securely fastened in front of me. Looks like I’m shit out of luck once again.
29
Sutton
Happy something #187: Having a shoulder to sob on uncontrollably.
The porch swing tilts upward with a creak when Jace straightens his knee. We hover at an angle on the bench before he lifts his foot. Our bodies rock on the wooden seat from the forward motion. Forth and back in a repeated glide. This is reminiscent of our youth, but there’s no joy between us now. The usually comforting sway is flat and dull. Much like my mood.
I’ve lost count of how many monotonous cycles we’ve completed. Other than the squeak of rusting springs, our surroundings are quiet. Under different circumstances I could probably doze off. My parents’ farm has a somber lull from missing a vital member. Not even the endlessly rolling acres or stunning cloudless sky holds appeal.
Another metallic grind interrupts the silence. Neither one of us seems to care about time ticking by without subsequent meaning. My mom and dad left for dinner an hour ago. They tried convincing us to join them. According to them, getting out of the house would be good for us. We had a different opinion. Jace and I pretended to be content eating cold turkey sandwiches. The truth is that we didn’t bother making any. We’re caught in a damn rut that only gets wider with no way out.
The cling of humidity is still sticky in the air. I have my legs tucked underneath me to ward off an internal chill. That cloying heat doesn’t penetrate the frost that’s burrowing into my bones. I better get used to the cold.
A shuddering sigh whisks from my lungs. I’m metaphorically teetering on the ledge of a steep cliff. One wrong move and I’ll go tumbling down. It’s impossible to focus on keeping myself stable. My mind is miles away in the county jail. There’s no forgetting that specific type of horror.
I tried to force a brave face for Grady yesterday. On the inside I was crumbling faster than a tissue in the rain. He looked so defeated. The dark cavern in his green eyes made me shiver. I can’t let him rot in that disgusting place. Our lack of options are making me sicker by the day. My wheels are spinning to the point of failure.
I can’t take the silence another moment. “What’re we gonna do, Ace?”
My brother drags his foot on the deck to pause our endless loop. “I dunno, Sutt.”
I’ve asked a similar version of this question an infinite amount over the last eight days. Jace always gives a nearly identical response. Just one more way we’re stuck. I press two fingers over my puffy eyes. “He’s already changing from being in that awful place. We have to help him.”
“I’m well aware. Too bad our hands are mostly tied.”
