“We can pick this up tomorrow,” he repeats.
“There is no tomorrow.”
“Yes thereis. At the office. Where you and I will both be. And your dad, who won’t be on board with this.”
“I’ll handle my dad,” I say, even though I’d rather elope with Finn than stay and deal with my dad’s disappointment. “Please box up my things and—”
“Have you been drinking?” he asks.
My face warms. I’m not sure if Finn can hear. “No. Have the boxes sent to my apartment. Charge it to Dad’s delivery service.”
“Is it something else?” he presses. “Something worse to cope with everything?”
“Everything?”
“I know this time of year is hard for you.”
Terrified he’ll bring up my mother and make this night even more uncomfortable, I shake my head. “I have to go. Please just tell me you get that we’re breaking up.”
“Fine,” he says. “Take the time you need. I hope I’ll still be here when you realize your mistake.”
Mistake. I have no doubt he intentionally chose that word to drill home the point that without my meds, I can’t make rational decisions. “Goodn—”
He hangs up. I check the screen. Three minutes, eleven seconds. That’s how long it took to extricate myself from Rich. Appropriate, I guess, considering this relationship often felt half-assed. Two years lost, just like that. It’s angering in a way. Years of my youth have been spent bending to other people’s wills. The worst part is, it’s my own fault. It was easier to accept what I had than convince myself I was worth more.
“Hey,” Finn says from above me. I didn’t even hear him approach.
I look up and realize my vision is blurred. “Hey.”
He frowns. “I’m sorry.”
I shake my head, and a few tears fall onto my cheeks. “I’m not crying over him.”
He wipes under my eye with his thumb. “It’s okay if you are. You’re allowed.”
“I just feel like I’m waking up from a long sleep. Not even a restful one.” I could be referring to the break up or my meds. Both, I guess. “I’ve wasted so much time.”
“We’ll make up for it,” he murmurs.
“Was that enough?” I ask. “Are you satisfied?”
He pulls me against his chest, tightening his arms around me. “Don’t worry about me right now.”
“But—”
“Will you let me hold you?”
I’m stiff as a board with my hands at my sides. I force myself to relax against his body, hug his middle, and rest my chin on his chest. “Better?” I whisper.
“Yeah.” He searches my eyes a few silent seconds before bending his head. My mouth opens for his like we’ve done this a million times, but I’ve never been struck by lightning, and that’s how his kiss feels—electric, exceptional, and bigger than us. His lips are as soft and full as they look, but more firm, more certain, than I’m used to. They’re made to kiss away my tears while inciting a fire in me. I could fall in love this second or fuck him until one of us goes blind.
He cradles my face in his hands.
Fall in love.
Then slides them down my back to grip my ass.
Fuck him blind.
