“Really.”
“I call bullshit.”
A huff of frustration bled out. “I went to her, Kale, I went to her and I begged her and she sent me away. I betrayed her, man, withholding that truth. She doesn’t trust me, which I can’t expect her to. I fucked it up, just like I always do.”
“Yeah, because she got railroaded by the truth that you’re still married. You think that whole thing wouldn’t have gone down differently if she would have been prepared? If you would have already been taking the steps to end that bullshit marriage that never should have existed in the first place?”
“Or maybe she should shut me down. I made a vow, and for once in my life, I need to stick to it.”
“Once in your life?” he bit out like he couldn’t believe his ears.
“Yeah. You think I didn’t make the same damned promises to Sydney—”
I slammed my mouth closed, a fence going down in front of the words that wanted to keep rolling out.
Ollie looked like I’d punched him. “What does Sydney have to do with any of this?”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I’d slipped.
Just like I’d been saying all along, ever since Rynna had come into my life, things had spun out of control. In the best of ways. In the worst of ways. I had just ripped open the locks to a past I didn’t want to unleash. A goddamned train wreck, no consideration to who was going to get in the mix of it.
Last thing I wanted was to hurt Ollie more than I already had. He didn’t need this. Fuck, he didn’t need any of this. Never had deserved it.
“What did you say?” Ollie’s voice was muted and strained.
I hopped up, hands gripping my hair, trying to reel it all in. Tossed out a few more lies. Not like they made any difference anyway. “Nothing...just should have stopped her that night.”
I drained my beer and slammed it down on the bar. “Gonna get out of here.”
Throwing a handful of twenties down, I spun on my heels and wound back through the crowds, shouldering through the bodies packed tight, their laughter and joy grating in my ear. A fucking grinding pad against my consciousness.
Swore I was close to a panic attack by the time I stumbled out into the night. I sucked down the cool breeze, lifting my head to the sky, wishing on any goddamned star that might appear.
I cringed when the door swung open behind me.
Didn’t need to turn around to know it was Kale.
“Just go back inside,” I told him.
“You really think I’m going to turn my back on you? Now? When you need me most? You might have done a bang-up job of convincing yourself all these years that you didn’t need anybody, but I think it’s plenty clear by now you’re wrong.”
He took a step toward me. “Tell me what you want, Rex. Tell me. Who?”
Frankie and Rynna. Frankie and Rynna.Their names spun on a circuit. Nonstop.
I shook my head. “This is all so fucked up, Kale.”
Slowly, I turned. “So fucked up, and I don’t have a fucking clue what to do.”
“Yes, you do. You know exactly what to do.”
Air puffed through my nose, and I looked away, raking a hand through my hair. “And what’s that?”
“You probably should start by forgiving yourself for Sydney. By finally letting go of what you’ve been carrying. Tell Ollie. He deserves to know.”
Fear clamored through my nerves. “Sydney doesn’t have anything to do with this.” Could barely force out the defense.
