“You’re not afraid,” I tell her. “You’re submitting. You understand that whatever he does to you will be for your pleasure.” I snap a couple pictures, but her stiffness shows.
“If you’re uncomfortable,” Ken says, “try inhaling through your nose and blowing it out your mouth a few times.”
“I look that bad?” she asks me.
Ken smiles. “Don’t worry. Even professionals get nervous.”
Halston waits for me to answer. Just me. I don’t even think she’s trying to make me feel secure about the situation; shegenuinelywants me to direct her every move. Ken glances over too. It’s a heady feeling having both of them under my direction.
“I could put my hand around her throat,” he says. “I saw one like that on your account.”
She shifts feet. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“I won’t do it for real,” Ken says.
“It’s just that we already did it . . . Finn and I.”
I love that she wants to protect our pose. And at the same time, she’s the one who wanted this. I was against bringing in a third person, and maybe for that reason, I want to test my authority. “Let’s try it,” I say. “A familiar pose might loosen you up.”
Her throat ripples with a swallow, but she nods. My dick stirs—not just because she’s submitting, but because she’s submittingto me. Not him. While another man touches her, I’m still the one to command her.
Ken splays a hand over her collarbone and pins her back to his front. I know what that soft ass feels like pressed against me. Begging for more. Wearing black and white, they’re yin and yang, angel and devil. I take a photo. And another. Ken slides his hand up around her throat.
“Put your finger in her mouth,” I say.
He raises his hand to her face. Halston clamps her mouth shut like dropping a gate to keep him out.
I lower my camera. “Hals.”
She releases her lip, and Ken sticks the tip of his index finger between her teeth. That’s when I realize—as much as I didn’t want to do this, domineering Halston never fails to excite me. Only now, I’m dominant with her in front of another man.
How far will she go? How far does shewantto go? If her journals are any indication, there aren’t many boundaries, if any.
“Never mind that,” I say. “Doesn’t look right.”
Ken takes his hand back, wiping it on his jeans. “Might look better if we were facing each other. Or even if . . .”
I adjust the aperture. “If what?”
“She were on her knees.”
I glance up just in time to catch him shift feet. Halston looks between us, trembling slightly. Her fear is doing something to me. She’s been walking this line for a while by showing me that journal, inviting Ken here, chatting with that stranger on New Year’s Eve. But she won’t do anything without my permission. Withoutmyorder. With their silence, their uncertainty as they wait for my answer, my head swims.
“Undo his pants.”
Neither of them moves—or objects. If Ken’s uncomfortable with it, he can speak up. He doesn’t. Halston slowly lifts the edge of his shirt, and he takes it from her, holding it up out of the way. She touches the button of his jeans. It takes her a few tries to get it open. She begins to unzip his fly, then looks at me.
“That’s good,” I say. “Nowyou can get on your knees.”
She freezes. Her eyes are as big and gray as ever.
Ken bites his lip, watching her. He might be gay, but I’m not convinced he’d turn Halston down. Halston senses it too, because her chin trembles.
I need to know that Halston trusts me. Always. That she’ll submit because she wants to, and not just to anyone. Only me. “All-loved by lovers all,” I tell her.
I can see the words from her “dark” journal entry about the threesome sinking in. Finally, she gets to her knees. I raise my camera and instruct her. I get her hands at his waistband. I take a photo from behind her. Ken threads his hand through her hair and fists it. He isn’t pretending. She sucks in a breath. I make sure to capture all of it, and since her face isn’t in the shots, she follows me with her eyes.
“Let’s try the fingers again,” I say.
