I twirled spaghetti onto my plastic fork. “A few reasons, but there were a couple things he said that actually reminded me a little of myex.”
Sebastian hummed. “And I take it that’s a badthing.”
“My ex was . . . patronizing. More interested in what others thought than what I did. I second-guessed myself a lot around Neal, and it turned me into sort of a . . . pushover.” I exhaled a long breath. There, I’d said it. “I would end up deferring to him oneverything.”
“I have a hard time seeing that,” Sebastian said, studying me as he took a bite ofpasta.
“That’s because, you’ve mostly only seen meas. . .”
He tilted his head as he chewed and swallowed. “George,” hefinished.
Maybe I should’ve been more surprised that he’d figured it out, but the difference between George and Georgina had to be obvious. “You asked earlier why Neal and I broke up. Another woman was only half the truth. He saw me as weak, and I realized when it came to him, Iwas.”
“Weakhow?”
“I give up my seat on the subway. I let others have the last slice of cake at a party. He’d say mean things about me while we were dating, and I’d believe him.” I traded my fork for my wineglass. “He slandered me to our mutual friends assuming I wouldn’t put up a fight. Most of them don’t even speak to meanymore.”
He swatted at a fly hovering over a meatball. “Whydidn’tyou put up afight?”
I shrugged. “I have Lu, Bruno, my family, and my work. Neal, he needs people around him who make him feel important. Honestly, if our friends believed what he told them, they weren’t friendsanyway.”
“Georgina, you aren’t a pushover.” Sebastian smiled gently at me. “You’rekind.”
“That’s not all,” I said, fiddling with my bracelets. “I supported him so he could go back to school. And as soon as he’d graduated, he left me.” Would Sebastian see me differently after this? As someone without a backbone? I glanced at my hands. “I didn’t realize how bad I was until he came back a couple months later and talked me into forgiving him. At least for a fewhours.”
He reached out and stilled my hands. “I’m still not convinced you’re anything other than a goodperson.”
“People don’t respect good,” I said. “They respectbitches.”
A slow smile spread across his face. “Don’t you hear how ridiculous thatsounds?”
“Saying it out loud . . . maybe I do. But it’s what Luciano always says. He opened my eyes to the fact that I lost myself in that relationship.” I paused. “I don’t want to make that mistakeagain.”
“Then you have to date someone who doesn’t want to lose you,either.”
I didn’t want to loseSebastian. Not when I’d finally found him. “Are yousuggesting. . .?”
His eyes gleamed in the reflection of the movie. “I regret how I spoke to you the morning I met you.Iwas patronizing. I should’ve just told you the truth. That you’rebeautiful.”
I glanced into my drink. I’d been calledcuteandprettyplenty in my life but rarelybeautiful. Hearing it was like trying on a hat I loved but one I couldn’t get to fit quiteright.
He lifted my chin with his knuckle. “You know that, don’tyou?”
I bit my lip. “Beautifulis such a bigword.”
“And yet it describes you sowell.”
I believed Sebastian when he said it. I wished I hadn’t come to question that over my time with Neal. “That morning, when I flew off the handle? It wasn’t directed at you. I’d already been berating myself for not sticking up for Luciano, so when you called me out for exactly that, I responded out of hurt andguilt.”
He frowned. “I overreacted, Georgina. Would you believe me if I told you I had a goodreason?”
I already knew why. I nodded. “You were on the phone with Justin, and you looked angry. I can only imagine it had to do with me, even though neither of us knew it in thatmoment.”
He wiped his mouth with a napkin and balled it up. “It wasn’t about work. Well, not entirely. It had more to do with mymom.”
“Your . . .mom?”
“She immigrated from Mexico when she was eighteen, poor, and pregnant. Made it all the way to the east coast on herown.”
