I had no doubt that was true, and that Sebastian would eventually realize it—but it didn’t diminish how good it felt to hear it. I tilted my head. “Can you repeat that,please?”
“You were right that I let fear get in the way,” he said, “right after I’d called you out for the samething.”
“I’m not scared anymore, Sebastian.” I inched around the desk, my steps muted by the tufted wool rug beneath my heels. Though eager to go to him, there were still things that needed to be said. “When I met you, I’d been trying to hide or overcome my flaws out of shame. Then you came along and told me I was allowed to have them. That I was allowed to bekind.”
“Allowed?” he asked. “Ilovethat part of you. More than you know. After so long of not having that, you feel like the lifeline I lost.” Longing showed on his face. “Don’t tell me you’re weak. Don’t tell me your flaws aren’t myblessings.”
I swallowed through the urge to cry. To run to him. To let myself fall, finally, into him. But the distance between us kept me from opening my heart all the way. “I’m sorry it had to be Boston,” I said quietly. “I wish there was anotherway.”
“And I’m sorry that even though I was looking for a girl like you, it took me so long to see you. To understand that I was holding on to a past that would always be a part of me, even after I let it go. This was my home once, Georgina. But now, you, Bruno, and Opal—that’s the home I want, and where that is doesn’tmatter.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as hope crept back in. That was a home I’d envisioned many times since he’d left me on the curb at the vet, but never with any hope. Only as something I’d lost and hadn’t known how to get back without sacrificing a part of myself. “You’d come toBoston?”
He opened his arms. “I’m here, aren’tI?”
“Standing there is one thing. Can you be happy here? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if it was torture for you day in and dayout.”
“I have a confession.” He dropped his arms at his sides. “This is my third time here in the last month. I’m sorry I didn’t come see you sooner, but I had shit to workthrough.”
I clasped my hands over my heart. He had towantto face those demons, and now, he was ready. I silently promised him I’d do whatever possible to be by his side while he did. “You went to the house?” Iguessed.
“I did. First with Justin to see if I could do it. Then with Libby to start on the plans to restore it. We’re going to sell it.” He shifted on his feet, looking like he could use a hug. But more than comfort, he needed to get the words out, so I stayed where I was. “It won’t be easy, but I’m going to work through it by doing as much of the labor myself as I can.” His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. “Something about physically working on the house feels like a way of, I don’t know . . . honoring her. Mymom.”
I closed my eyes a moment and pictured Sebastian as a boy in the kitchen, his mom teaching him the best way to scrub grease from the stove. Doing homework at the table. Bickering with his twin sister. And then, as a grown man, tearing down the walls that’d protected—but also limited—him.
With my helptoo.
“Yeah?” hesaid.
I opened my eyes. I hadn’t meant to say it aloud, but I nodded. “Next time you go there, I’m coming with you. I want to help.” I hazarded a smile. “At the very least, so it doesn’t turn into a bachelorpad.”
He grinned. “Bring your colored pencils. I want it to be a house worthy of someone’s windowsill heightchart.”
I nodded. “Then it willbe.”
He glanced out the window beside me, scratching his chin as silence settled between us. Sensing he needed time to gather his thoughts, I waited until he was ready. “When I stood in front of the house for the first time since her death,” he said finally, slowly, “I asked myself some things. Where do I want to be? Who do I want to be? Who do I want to spend my days with? The answer is simple,Georgina.”
My heart thumped. I was nearly on the tips of my toes waiting for him to say it, to close this distance between us for good. “Tell me,” Iimplored.
“I want to be a man worthy of spending his days with you, wherever youare.”
I couldn’t hold back anymore. I started across the room, bolstered by the fact that I had no doubts he meant what he said. When Sebastian cared about someone, he did with all of himself. He fought. He came back. In the end, he didn’t run away. The proof stood in front of menow.
“Wait,” he said before I reached him, and I stopped. He drew an imaginary line between us with his index finger. “I want that gone completely. If you cross this line, it doesn’t exist anymore. Got it? There’s only oneside.”
“Between love and hate,” I said, my voice equally soft and rough with unshed happy tears, “I’m on love’sside.”
“Don’t whisper it, Georgina. Get over here and tell me.” I took the final steps toward him, and he held my face in his hands as he added, “And say itloud.”
“I . . . I love you,” I said clearly, overcoming the urge to cry. The confession didn’t scare me like it should. More than anything, I was relieved to say it after weeks of holding it in, trying to pretend it wasn’ttrue.
“I’m on love’s side,” he repeated. “Iloveyou.”
“I knew it when I saw you with Bruno at the vet. The way you were with him. The way you looked at me.” It’d hit me all at once, merciless and overwhelming. Along with the truth—that I’d lose him. But he was here. I clutched his shirt, keeping him there as he lowered his mouth to mine. “It doesn’t scare me anymore,” I whispered. “I won’t lose myself again because you won’t letme.”
He brushed the tip of my nose with his. “And if you happen to, I will light your way back to ensureyoualways find yourself. And then you findme.”
I found him, first his lips with mine, then his roughened cheeks with my hands. I lost myself in his kiss, and there, I found something I never expected—an enemy made to loveme.
