“And so this is just it for you then?”
“Of course not.” I scrambled out of bed, grateful that his shirt covered me down to mid-thigh as I began to pace the small room. “I don’t know what we’re supposed to be doing. I mean, I didn’t expect you, Leif.”
“I never expected you either.” He stood up and reached for me. I held up my hand, afraid if he touched me, I would start to believe in a future again. But how could that be? There wasn’t an easy answer out of this.
“I thought this was just going to be a summer fling—a moment. I didn’t mean to literally fall on top of you.”
“I didn’t mean to run into you.” He ran his hands through his hair, the muscles in his arms bulging as he did so. “Okay, how about this. There’s a place next to my dad’s tattoo shop called Taboo. It’s a café, and frankly, one of the best places for coffee in the city.”
“I’ve been there.” I gave him a wry smile. “And I almost got a tattoo at Montgomery Ink.”
His eyes darkened. “See? It’s fate. Our lives have been intertwined for so long and we didn’t know.”
“But we never met before.”
“Because we weren’t ready. But we’re adults now, and this has to mean something. So meet me at Taboo at a certain time we can make happen. And if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to reach out and know that it would happen. But there weren’t any answers. “So what, if we meet up and it’s meant to be, does that means we try long distance?”
“How long are you in California?”
“For at least a year. It’s the fellowship I’m in. I’m going in as a junior, thanks to all of my extra courses.”
“Since you’re beautiful and brilliant, Brooke.”
Tears began to spill but I let them. And Leif didn’t wipe them away.
“I’ll meet you.” His eyes widened, a smile spreading on his face, but I held up my hand. “I’ll meet you. And we can try something. But if for some reason we can’t. If fate has an entirely different plan than we thought, just don’t hate me. Okay?”
He moved then, cupping my face. “I could never hate you.” His voice was low. A promise of something I couldn’t name or ever hope to grasp.
“Okay.” I closed my eyes, knowing that it wouldn’t work. Our lives were on such drastically different paths. “Can we just have this moment? This space? I don’t want to end up resenting this time in case it doesn’t work out.” In case the world doesn’t believe in us like I want to believe in him.
He nodded against my head and held me close. “No matter what, I’ll never forget this summer. I’ll never forget you.”
I held him close and knew that this was our promise.
A promise of memory, and hope.
But I knew if I saw him in Colorado, if we tried to make it work, it would most likely break me even more in the end. I’d wind up shattered into a thousand pieces, unable to breathe. Unable to pick up the remains.
What would be easier for us? What would soften his pain? Me showing up, so we could say goodbye yet again? Or us letting this moment in time be the sweetest of memories? I didn’t have the answers, so I held him, and knew that fate didn’t really exist.
After all, fate wouldn’t have led me to Leif when there were no easy ways for our paths to cross again.
I stood in front of the café, my heart in my hands, and my throat tight. People walked past me, not bothering to give me a glance. After all, I was just a girl, standing in front of a door, waiting to see if I had made the correct choice.
I put my hand on the door handle, knowing I was making a mistake.
But it was the only one I could make.
Chapter Four
Leif
April 4th
My palms were sweaty. Seriously. Why were my palms sweaty?
