The fancy shitter is the same way. I could take a nap on that thing the minute the seat heater starts warming my ass.
Rafe
I often nap on that toilet.
We’d had far toomany conversations about these fucking toilets at this point. Give a bunch of dudes a heated seat and a hose to clean their assholes, and it will soon become a topic of constant discussion.
Clark
What are you going to do?
Archer
I’ll start putting feelers out this summer. I’d like to have someone else before Melody starts the new school year, so we can get on a system. But at least right now, with Melody in part-time preschool, at least I know part of her day is productive.
Clark
She’s five years old. She doesn’t need to be productive all the time.
Archer
Man, this parenting shit is no joke. I’m constantly questioning myself.
You’re a fucking fabulous dad, Archie. You worry too much.
Easton
Best dad I know, dude.
Rafe
I hope to be half the father you are when the day comes. You just have an old nanny.
Clark
Exactly. Look at your little girl. She’s the best.
Bridger
That little monster is the best girl around—so stop with that shit. Find a younger nanny who doesn’t have bunions.
Archer
I’m on it. Melody loves taking horseback riding lessons from Wren. I’m bringing her by after work today.
Easton
I mean, you went from a geriatric nanny to a world champion horse trainer.
Rafe
Yeah, I’d say Melody is golden in the horse training department.
Clark
Speaking of Wren, how is it going now that all that shit is out in the open?
I’d filled them in on what had gone down with Collin. They’d all been with me that night, and they knew that nothing he’d said was true. But we also weren’t Collin Waterstone fans. He wasn’t our brother. Wren had to work through the fact that someone she loved had lied to her numerous times.
