I put aside the fact he is a mobster and concentrated on him as a man—a man who loved me and let me go. It’s the only way I could see myself comfortably getting to know him. He understood when I explained it to him. It raised the question of how our relationship would grow once I left. We agreed that it had a chance if he were to visit me as Lorenzo Ferrante, dad-wannabe, rather than Don Ferrante, head of a Mafia family. I don’t really know how that will work, but it gave both of us hope we could build something. As I’ve always done, I consulted my dads afterwards and, of course, they gave me their full support.
Pete and Kelley then whisked me away before our meet-up time. Both were too excited to delve into a night of gossip and friendship. Pete plied us with ice cream. We shared one bottle of wine. I listened with utter devotion to Kelley as she told us all about how she and Beth had slept together. Apparently, all the shy looks and lingering touches became too much and they had a passion-filled night of carefully orchestrated sex. Kelley’s arm is on the mend, but still not ready for acrobatic debauchery. She blushed through the entire story.
Pete asked if they’d talked about starting anything serious, but Kelley shook her head. She’s so like me. I knew her head would win over her libido. Then all eyes turned to me and I told them about my night with Allegra. They listened and poked fun every time I wandered off into a delicious memory.
Pete asked the same question: Were we planning on starting something more serious? He got the same answer Kelley gave. And that’s when he offered his opinion. For once, it wasn’t about forgetting my worries and getting plastered. He advised seizing the day and enjoying the moment.
My usual rebuff didn’t manifest as I sat there listening to him. I wanted more time with Allegra. It wasn’t the safest option, not for my heart anyway, but I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t at least try. So that’s how I found myself at her door, entering her room, and stripping off, praying she wouldn’t send me away.
Our bodies came together effortlessly, and I knew as she collapsed onto me, I’d made the right choice. I wanted the unsafe and unsecure just for a little while. And I didn’t want to thrash our complicated relationship to death until I changed my mind.
Allegra’s willingness to give us that, set a fire between us and we delved in for more hours of sex that left us sated and wrung out. It differed from last night. There were so many unspoken words we could only communicate through touch, that every brush of a fingertip, or ghost of a breath on each other’s skin, became something more; something deeper…something that could only exist in that moment.
“Are you still awake?” she asks me in a thick voice. It’s partly from the workout her voice box has just gone through and the pull of sleep.
“Yeah, I’m still awake. Just enjoying the moon.”
She shifts beside me, so I turn to look at her. The glint of metal on her bedside table catches my eye. It’s her gun. The one that put a bullet in Kelley. I can’t help the slight hitch in my breath as I look at it. Allegra feels the change in me and turns to look where my eyes are focused. She curses in Italian and extracts herself from me, taking the gun. There are several mechanical clicks and then she’s back, her eyes searching my face. I’m sure she’s expecting me to rant and rave, or even leave, but I don’t.
“I’m sorry. I meant to put it away earlier.” Her voice wavers.
What can I say? I know things like that are a part of her daily life. I don’t want to judge her. And I won’t. But our glorious and unfettered time together is ruined. Maybe it’s more like it brings us back to reality. The gun is a stark reminder of why a few nights of sex are all we can have. No matter how much Allegra wants to set the family on a different path, mobsters will always surround the Ferrante family. How could they ever truly separate themselves from a life they’ve spent so long building?
“Did you need that for your meeting?” I ask. I knew she had business away from the villa, but I didn’t ask for specifics.
“Only as a precaution.”
She’s unsettled, and a little panicked, so I coax her back into my arms. “No problems?”
“No.”
We fall silent. I focus on the steady exhale of our breaths. I hate the fact she went somewhere today that could have put her in danger, and I hate the fact that carrying a gun is so natural for her.
“Do you have to go out again tomorrow?”
“No. The seasonal workers are arriving early in the morning. We only have a few days before the harvest begins.”
“You sound excited.” And I’m happy to move on. Hating that uglier part of her life won’t change anything. I’d rather claim ignorance and pretend it doesn’t exist.
She rubs her face against my chest and tickles her fingertips across my belly. It brings a smile to my face.
“It’s my favourite time of the year. Everyone comes together. It’s back breaking, but so gratifying. On the night of the first harvest day, we have a big meal with last year’s wine and Mamma Picollo’s food.”
“Sounds fun. I can’t wait to join in…if I’m allowed.” It occurs to me the vines are outside my designated safety zone.
“You can stay with me. I’d like to teach you how to pick the grapes if you’d like?”
I scoot down the bed and roll to my side. We’re nose-to-nose, and I can’t help but place a kiss on the tip. “I would really like that! Can Kelley and Pete help?”
“Of course. Kelley might be better taking an observational role though. Her shoulder needs more rest.”
I laugh. “She’ll love it. Bossing Pete around will make her so happy.”
“You are a strange trio of friends,” she grins. “He’s so different to you and Kelley.”
“He is, but it works. Sometimes you need a bit of something different to balance you out. Know what I mean?”
She pecks my lips. “I know exactly what you mean.”
