Clem’s mouth hung open. She felt the tell-tale tingle start in her groin and begin to shimmer throughout her abdomen and legs. She was ready to drop the cookie and jump at Hazel once more, but then Hazel continued.
“And I would hope I have more substance than a cookie.”
Her statement brought Clem back to the moment. She took another bite. “Which reminds me of my concern. How is it not weird that you’re eating these cookies — since you are a cookie, yourself?”
Hazel held Clem’s eye contact as she took a bite of the sugar cookie in her hand, then shrugged. “Because I’m notactuallya cookie. I mean, I took my form from the cookie, and pulled the magic from it, but in this moment I am as human as you.”
“No way are you human.”
Hazel’s eyes twinkled. “Well, I’ve got some magic thrown in there.” She chewed on the cookie some more as she considered. “I think it ties back into your angel statement. I’m not an angel —”
“Which I think I’m grateful for.” Clem thought about the ramifications of fucking an angel and wrinkled her nose. There was something about it that just didn’t sit right.
“But I’m not far off from them. You could say that they’re not-too-distant cousins? I don’t want to go too far into the history, but just like there are humans and animals and all kinds of things in this realm, there are angels and devils and fae and sprites in my realm.”
“And your realm is …?”
“Everywhere.” It was so casual, said as she took another bite of cookie. Clem stared. Hazel went on. “Our realm is atop yours. Or maybe it’s more like it’s mixed in, but only one way? It’s hard to describe, because of course two things can’t be in the same place at once. Think of it like an overlay. Your realm exists, and mine wraps around it and is in all the in between spaces.”
“Hmm.” Clem wasn’t sure what she thought of that. She ate some more and waited for Hazel to explain some more.
“There is a lot of crossover between our realms, though. People visit between, or discover places where the veil is thin, and then they return with fairy tales, or hallucinations, depending on how sane they sound when they share their story.” She gestured at Clem with her cookie. “Think about it: your dungeons and dragons game is a perfect example of that. Where did they come up with those characters?”
“Mythology?”
“But mythology is what I’m talking about. Someone encounters my realm, then turns around and tells the story, and then myths are born.”
Clem had to admit she had a point there. “Okay, so your realm has all kinds of beings, and you’re a not-too-distant cousin of angels.”
“Exactly.” Hazel took another bite of cookie and nodded in approval. “You get it,” she said through a mouthful.
Clem wasn’t sure she did. They ate in silence as she turned all this over in her mind. “And you only come to this realm for … sex?” The last word was whispered, as though she was worried someone would overhear them. Hazel grinned.
“Pleasure,” she corrected. “It’s a subtle difference, but an important one. Not everyone holds sex to the same measure of pleasure that you do.” She reached out and ran a hand over Clem’s chest, giggling at the gasp she elicited. Then she pulled her hand away and smirked at Clem’s pout. “Believe me, Clementine Baker. I amveryglad you do.”
“Thanks.” Clem blushed and ducked her head. “So what do you do with those people?”
“Any number of things. Eat an incredibly delicious meal, join them at a play or concert of some sort. I mean, sometimes it’s as simple as playing board games or just sitting with them as they read a good book.”
Clem had to admit all of those sounded incredible. “And this is your purpose for existing?” She wrinkled her nose. It was distasteful to hear it out loud, and she wished she had phrased it better.
But Hazel merely laughed. “God, no! It’s my job. Is your job your reason for existing? I can answer that for you —” she held out a hand to keep Clem from responding. “Obviously no. Samewith me,” she answered on a shrug. “But I really, really like my job.”
“Your job is to just give people pleasure? How is that possible?”
Hazel considered for a moment before answering. “So, you know about Santa and the North Pole elves, right?” When Clem nodded, she continued. “It all stemmed from that, centuries ago. Some folks felt that adults should have the opportunity to experience some magic.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially. “Between you and me, I think someone in my realm fell in love — or at least into infatuation — with someone in yours. Which, from where I stand, could very easily be done.”
Clem flushed, but had no response. She was sure Hazel noticed the smile she’d bitten back, but there was no comment on it. Instead, Hazel continued with her theory. “So I think they wanted to indulge that human. Santa doesn’t doesn’t bring magic to adults, so they had to take matters into their own hands.”
“That’s the story?”
“Well, that’s the whispers. I do know that the original Secret Ingredient was from Mrs. Claus’ kitchen, which is where the magic comes from. From what I’ve heard, they snuck in and stole some of her sugar so they could infuse some magic into this realm.”
“Oh.” It was almost too much to take in. Then, “How do you get paid?”
Hazel stared, uncomprehending.
“Like, can you pay your bills with pleasure?”
