“Why?” He very much feared he knew exactly why, but he wouldn’t volunteer anything if he wasn’t asked directly.
Clover motioned wildly. “You have zero decorations. It’s one thing to not decorate the office. This is a new level.”
So much for not volunteering any information. He didn’t want to make Clover think he was a Scrooge or whatever. He stared down at his hands as he worked on their meal. Really, there wasn’t much left to do. He just didn’t want to see any pity on Clover’s face. “When I said I left through the window because of terrible parents, I left out it wasn’t my parents’ house. It was my aunt’s. That’s who I was placed with after my dad murdered my mom before killing himself on Christmas.”
Clover gasped.
Saint kept talking. He still didn’t want to see Clover’s expression. “They always fought. Since they were both alcoholics, they usually got pretty violent. When I was little, I would hide until it was over, which was usually when they passed out. When I got a little older, I would leave and stay gone for a few hours. That’s what I did that Christmas.” He shrugged. “I came home and found them. There was blood everywhere, soaking the one present I actually had under the tree. For a little while, after I went to live with my aunt, it was like I was in shock. I didn’t notice much of anything around me. Then I started to slowly realize my aunt was just the same: a mean drunk. So I left. When Steel found me, I needed the money. But then I stayed on because I needed to protect other people. I’ve seen insanity and what it can do. If I can stop it in some way, I will.”
“Holy shit. I’m sorry. Don’t worry. I won’t decorate the office.”
Saint smiled. He couldn’t help but meet Clover’s stare. “No. You’re good. Go wild. You can even decorate here, if you’d like. I think you’re the kind of person who can create happy memories. If you’re willing, I’d like that.”
Clover beamed. “I can do that.”
Saint gave him a sharp nod. “Tomorrow, after work, we’ll hit the store and one of those Christmas tree lots.”
“Okay.” The happiness in Clover’s voice let Saint know he had made the right decision. He had also been serious. Saint liked the idea of making happy memories with Clover. He couldn’t think of a better way to spend the holiday.
The day had definitely been a series of highs and lows. At the end of it all, there had been way more highs than lows. Unfortunately, the downward path had been extremely rocky. He still couldn’t believe he had accidentally forced Saint to relivesuch an atrocious memory, but Clover felt like he knew Saint better now. He understood what motivated him to bring Clover home with him. Maybe now he could stop imagining Saint looked at him with hunger in his eyes. Maybe he was just a little lonely. He was super excited to plan a holiday with Saint. Saint wasn’t the only one who needed someone to help him push through. Clover hated to admit how much he had come to dread going home. He knew Christmas would be even worse this year, with Jacobe popping up everywhere. Clover didn’t put it past him to try to capitalize on his holiday depression.
After the best dinner he’d had in a long time, Clover washed dishes with Saint at his side. He was honestly pretty wiped after such a wild day. But he was oddly reluctant to move away from Saint and he couldn’t say why. He hadn’t felt so immediately attached to anyone in his life. He was just comfortable, as if they had been friends his entire life. It was nice.
He released the water and wiped down the sink. As much as he hated it, there was no pushing off his exhaustion. “Well, I guess I should get to bed now. I don’t really sleep well. Being in a new place, it might take me longer than usual.”
“Do you need me to tuck you in and read you a bedtime story?”
A bark of laughter burst from Clover at the unexpected remark. He couldn’t look away from the way Saint’s eyes swam with laughter. “Does that actually work? I’ve only ever seen it done in movies.”
Saint shrugged. “All I own is smut, but we could still try it and find out.”
The loud guffaw that left him had Clover covering his nose and mouth, trying to stifle the sound. He had never had so much fun. He swiped at his eyes. “Um. I’m not sure smut would have me sleeping comfortably.”
The way Saint laughed kept Clover smiling. He didn’t want to walk away. Clover took a step back. “I guess I should really go to bed.”
Saint must have seen the reluctance in him. “Or we could turn out the lights and watch some old movies. I’ll get out the electric blanket for you. If you fall asleep, I’ll just carry you to bed.”
The way his body reacted to picturing himself in Saint’s arms was a little horrifying. The longing that hit was like nothing he had ever experienced. He couldn’t force himself to say no.
“That sounds fantastic.”
He was pretty sure their smiles matched as they headed to the living room together. Saint’s house was actually a cabin. Gorgeous trees surrounded the place. He couldn’t say why, but the moment he saw the place, Clover had immediately thought,This screams Saint. It was the perfect home for him. Even though it was a small house with only two bedrooms and two bathrooms, the rooms were pretty big. The entire place was also immaculate. Clover wondered if that was due to Saint’s homelessness back in the day. Maybe it made him take extrapride in owning a home or something. No matter the reason, he still felt at home. It was as if the cabin was every bit as welcoming as its owner.
Clover sat on the couch and curled his feet underneath him. He watched as Saint plugged in the blanket, set it on medium, and covered him. Clover was immediately cozy. He wanted to snuggle deeper.
“What would you like to watch? I have so many streaming channels, I can likely find anything that comes to mind.”
The question made Clover want to compare their tastes. “How about Lord of the Rings?”
A bright smile lit Saint’s face. “Fuck yeah. I love those movies.”
“And the TV series,” they said simultaneously.
They shared a smile.
Saint sat close to him as he went through the process of pulling up the movie. Clover turned sideways so he could openly stare. “I can’t believe how much we have in common. It’s like we’ve been friends for years.”
Saint lifted Clover’s feet into his lap and shared the blanket. He massaged Clover’s feet as he looked Clover’s way. His expression was serious. No more laughter. “It does feel that way, doesn’t it? I’m glad we met.”
