But first, I had to tell her the truth about her asshole ex.
“Mommy!” TJ squealed suddenly, attention shifting like a switch had flipped. He tumbled across the bed, his soft little body landing on top of Vivian.
She cracked an eye open and smiled, wrapping her arms around him. “Oh, my big boy, you’re going to squish Mommy.”
“Skish Mommy,” he repeated with a proud smile. “Skish Mommy,” he said again as he leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers with a laugh.
“Wet kisses,” she squealed, holding him close before she dotted his face and head with kisses. “Good morning, TJ.”
It was all so fucking normal. The three of us in bed together while sunlight marked the start of a new day. Getting up and getting TJ ready for the day. Vivian bathed him while I stumbled through picking out clothes, made easy by his impressive selection of denim. I took his freshly cleaned body, wriggling with joy, from Vivian, dressing him while she showered and dressed. We traded him off as if we’d been doing it for years. It was easy and collaborative.
It wasn’t at all like anything Raven and I had while growing up. My childhood had been more about survival than busy mornings like this. It wasn’t something I thought about since I was a boy wishing for something different, but fuck me, I liked this. I liked it a whole fucking lot. And I especially liked it with Viv.
She caught me watching her as she brushed out her hair and smiled. “What are you thinking right now?”
“Two things,” I answered easily, my eyes dark and hot. “I was thinking about all the ways I’m going to pay you back for last night.” My voice pitched low so there was no mistaking my meaning. “And breakfast,” I admitted. “I was thinking about breakfast.”
Her expression shifted from serious to smiling, a sparkle lit up her hazel eyes. “Let’s start with breakfast, then.”
I wanted her all to myself. I wanted to take her to my place and take her back into bed and start with payback, but I wasn’t sure it was safe to leave the clubhouse yet. Not until this was over.
Not until she knew the truth.
“We need to talk,” I said finally, my voice was flat while my heart pounded in my chest.
Her smile dimmed instantly. “Okay.” She nodded after a minute, slipping into that cool, carefully detached tone she used when she was bracing for bad news. She scooped TJ up and left the room, leaving me no choice but to follow her.
Breakfast was already spread on long tables at the back wall, as usual. There was enough food to feed a small army, and Viv expertly piled a plate with scrambled eggs, toast, sausage,and pieces of fruit with TJ in her arms. She cut up the eggs and sausage into tiny bites he could handle himself, leaving the toast in triangles the way he liked. The domesticity of it had a lump forming in my throat.
“We can talk now,” she said eventually without looking at me. “Just keep your tone calm. TJ won’t understand.” Her warmth was gone, replaced by that cold aloofness she’d worn like armor when she first came back.
“It’s about James,” I said without hesitating. The last fucking thing I wanted was to tell her any of this, but she deserved to know.
Viv froze for just a moment, the knife and fork frozen a few inches above the plate before she relaxed and dragged her gaze to mine. “What about him?”
I glanced at Viv and then back at TJ, happily humming and bobbing his head while he ate. “I can’t, not with him here. We can get one of the girls to watch him.”
Her eyes widened almost imperceptibly and then she nodded without argument.
I spotted my sister and waved her over. “Can you watch TJ while we talk?”
She nodded, flicking a wary glance at Viv before she turned on her smile for TJ. “Hey TJ, wanna hang with your awesome Auntie Raven?”
He bounced in his seat, holding his arms out, breakfast forgotten. “TT Aven!”
My tough sister melted at my son’s excited squeal and complete butchering of her name. She plucked him from thechair and held him close. “C’mon little man. I heard there’s bacon coming out soon.” She walked away without looking back.
As soon as I was confident TJ was occupied, I stood and grabbed Viv’s hand, savoring her small warm hand and delicate fingers as we headed outside. The morning sun shone bright and hot already.
As soon as we were alone outside, Viv yanked free of my hold, putting the whole damn picnic table between us. Her arms were folded over her chest and her gaze carefully blank. “Just tell me,” she demanded in a tight voice. “Please.”
I said nothing for a long while because I knew what I needed to tell her, but I didn’t know where to start. It wouldn’t be easy to hear, and I hated to be the one to say the words that would hurt her.
“I don’t care if he’s dead,” she blurted out. “Just tell me. Whatever it is,” she softened. “Just say it.”
“He’s not dead,” I finally found my voice. “At least not yet.”
Her eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise, but she quickly blanked her expression and nodded.
