No one said anything for a long time, so long that the air grew thick and awkward. The silence stretched until it was uncomfortable and I knew I didn’t have much time before my emotions won the battle, which was my own damn fault. Why did I think Falcon would be happy to learn he was a father? It was yet another miscalculation.
I stood. The sound of my chair scraping on the floor was the only sound I heard other than my racing heart. “Excuse me.” My legs felt like lead at first, but I willed them to keep moving, to carry me away from the sea of doubt and distrust. I left through the back door and kept walking through the seemingly never-ending maze that was their compound. I didn’t know where I was going, only that I needed quiet. I needed a beat of silence in the chaos. I needed time to get my emotions back under control.
TJ was safe with the other kids which meant for the first time since I gave birth to him, I had a moment to myself. I swallowed down the tears as the adrenaline wore off, making each step heavier until I couldn’t keep going. My feet were rooted to the ground and tension coiled my muscles so tight they ached, which was fitting because the weight of the fear I carried constantly gave me an edge that had kept me alive this far.
I just needed to hold it together for a couple of weeks. I needed to be strong for TJ and make it through whatever happened next, and then I’d let myself cry, to break down, to let myself feel something about this miserable life that had become mine.
TJ would be safe and that’s all that matters.
He would get to live a long happy life and that’s what mattered most to me, even if I never got to see those days unfold.
Chapter Three
Falcon
The moment Viv left the clubhouse, the room erupted into total fucking chaos. I expected it, based on the hostility that was aimed in her direction, but without her in the room, it was out in the open.
“What the fuck just happened?” Rebel barked, his voice cut through the loud rumble of questions aimed my way as if I knew any more than they did. Everyone talked at once and I understood, because we’d had a few months of peace after shit went down with the Ghost Riders MC and we were all enjoying it, only to have it broken up by a maybe baby mama and Russian mobsters. “We don’t even know for sure that kid is yours,” he leaned forward, his gaze narrowed as if he was daring me to deny it.
Before I could say anything, a low growl sounded from the table right beside Rebel. My sister, Raven, glared at him with an icy expression that wasn’t much different from her regular expression. She didn’t mince her words, and she did fuck all to spare anybody’s feelings. “You got eyes, don’t you? That kid is his as sure as Livvy is yours.” She held up a pointy black fingernail. “Same hair. Same eyes. Same stupid fucking chin dimple like our dad. But sure,” she scoffed. “Let’s wait for the DNA test.” Her gaze swung to me. “Don’t act like you don’t see the truth right in front of your face.”
“No matter what anybody here believes,” Peyton began, her tone unusually gentle. “We can’t let her fend for herself while we wait for the results. Especially if there’s someone after her.”Peyton had never been afraid to speak her mind, and being the more outspoken of the old ladies, she was more of a female leader than Diesel’s old lady, Ellie. She laid a supportive hand on top of Rocky’s and based on that short nod, I knew he was on my side.
Maverick sat back and crossed his arms, his expression thoughtful but lined with worry. “We’re talking about Russians and it’s no secret those motherfuckers are crazy.” He shook his head. “This ain’t some small time crew looking to kick up some shit for fun. These guys are brutal, and they don’t give a shit how much collateral damage they leave behind in pursuit of their goals.” He was worried, that much was clear. “We shouldn’t be dragging the MC into any shit involving the Russian mob.”
A few grunts of agreement sounded around the table and I wasn’t surprised. Hawk was worried because Laura worked away from the clubhouse, but some of the others were worried because their women were carrying the next generation of Steel Demons.
What the fuck could I say to that shit?Fuck your worries, let’s put your families at risk to save a kid who may or may not be mine?I couldn’t, goddammit, even if I wanted to.
Which I didn’t.
Maybe.
Slate cleared his throat and all eyes swung to him. “I’m not saying we shouldn’t help Vivian. She doesn’t deserve this, but we should know what we’re gettin’ ourselves into.” He tapped a few keys on his laptop and sighed. “Alexei Petrov led the Petrov Bratva for more than two decades. He used an iron fist to rule and to punish. He was notoriously ruthless and there was nothing he wouldn’t dabble in for a profit. Drugs, guns,assassinations, human trafficking, and targeted bombings. It didn’t matter what it was, if he could profit from it he would do it.”
“Alexei is dead,” I reminded him unnecessarily.
“Yeah, and his bastard son Anton has taken his place as leader. In fact he killed Alexei’s young sons to make sure there was no one to challenge his role in the family business. Unlike Daddy Dearest, Anton gets off on brutality and uses it liberally. He loves that shit and he wants to be the most feared mobster alive. He’s unpredictable and that makes him even more dangerous.”
Fuck.That changed everything, didn’t it? How could I ask my brothers to run into this type of danger for a woman who walked away from me? I couldn’t. We’d lost a man, Angel, in the fight against the Ghost Riders and the MC was still healing from that loss. “I’ll find some place safe to stash Viv.” I couldn’t kick her out and leave her at the mercy of an asshole like that no more than I could ask my brothers to risk their lives for a stranger.
Diesel let out a long, slow breath as he stood. His patience with the arguing was worn thin and he had on his decision face. “Vivian will stay here until we have the DNA results, herandthe kid.”
“I can do the swabs,” Laura offered. “We can get the test done quickly if we go directly to the lab.”
“Thanks,” I tried for a smile I didn’t feel.
Diesel’s gaze lasered into mine, pinning me like a knife to the wall. “You can both figure out everything else after that.”
I gave a bitter laugh. It sounded a hell of a lot like old wounds grown over older scars and years of resentment. Hell,a lifetime of feeling not good enough. “What happens after that,” I repeated the words on another laugh. “The same thing that happened last time.” Which was a big fat fuckingnothing. She’d slipped out in the middle of the night because we were fromdifferent worldsand she wanted no part of my dirty biker lifestyle. She’d been slumming it for a few weeks before she went back to her perfect, pristine life with her rich doctor who came from old money. I didn’t care what bullshit she gave me about him being an ex.
She was only back now because she needed the dirty biker.
Not me.
Tank clapped me hard on the shoulder, hard enough that I stepped forward to brace myself. He laughed, the fucker, because he knew what he was doing. “After all the shit that went down with Chloe and Gemma, maybe you should just ask her straight up why she left. She said the Russians were a part of it. What’s the rest?”
“Ain’t that obvious,” I grunted and shrugged out of his big meaty paw. “The rest is me.”
