The dogs were who knew where. Pirate really hoped Sophia had a receipt for the tests so they could return them. Who the fuck other than Sophia Groveton (now Sager) would buy out a pharmacy’s supply of pregnancy tests when only one was required?
Pirate heard the retching from the bathroom before he even made it inside. His shoulders slumping, he made his way over to the toilet as his wife puked into the basin. With one hand he gathered up her hair, and with the other, he turned on the sink, pulling a washcloth off the rack on the vanity for her. Her entire body heaved.
“Ugh. I don’t want you to see me like this,” she whined. “Go get Jazz.”
Pirate snorted. “We actually said vows this time around, and I believe ‘in sickness and in health’ were in there somewhere.” He squeezed the wet cloth as best he could with one hand and then pressed it to the back of her neck.
“We also said ‘for richer or poorer’ but I’d leave your ass in a minute if you suddenly became penniless.”
Pirate smiled down at his naked wife. “You keep telling yourself that, but I’d hunt you down and bring you back.”
Falling to her knees in front of the toilet, Sophia held herself over the bowl even though she’d stopped vomiting. “I really am fucked up in the head, because now I kind of want to run from you just to make you chase me. I might even steal your leg before I go just to make it more fun.”
If she was anywhere other than hunched over a toilet, he’d have slapped her ass for that one. Pirate moved the washcloth around towards her front to wipe her chest, neck, and then mouth.
“Mmm,” she moaned. “That feels good. I need to brush my teeth and then I’ll climb back on you.”
“Even I am not that hard-up for your pussy that I would make you climb back on me after you just puked like that.” Pirate flushed the toilet and helped her stand. “Although, I won’t say ‘no’ to cuddling if it’ll make you feel better. I’ll even be the big spoon.”
Pirate had discovered a lot of things since entering into a frenemies with benefits accord with her earlier in the year, and one of them was that he enjoyed being the little spoon. Who knew? Certainly not him.
Bringing her over to the sink, Pirate grabbed her toothbrush and applied some paste to it. When he went to hand it to her, though, she just opened her mouth in invitation to him. He raised an eyebrow. He’d hold her hair while she puked her guts out, but he drew the line at brushing her teeth like she was a toddler.
After a moment, she took the toothbrush from him and grumbled, “I thought since you thought I couldn’t paste my own toothbrush that you wanted to brush my teeth for me too.”
Pirate shook his head, a low snort escaping him. Her antics didn’t even stop for the flu. Curling his body around hers as she brushed, he pressed a kiss to her naked shoulder.
She spit into the sink. “Don’t. I’ll get you sick too.”
“Baby, your tongue was just down my throat about ten minutes ago. Pretty sure I’ve already got what you have.”
Sophia finished brushing her teeth. “I was so sure Jazz was pregnant. Now look at us. Flu all around. It’s going to be miserable in here for the next week!”
Pirate nodded. He certainly wasn’t looking forward to fighting with Sophia for who got to throw up in their bathroom and who had to run down the hall to the guest bathroom.
Something white caught his eye in the mirror. Straightening, he noticed a pregnancy test box was in the doorway. He must have kicked it in there when he’d tried to scramble after her. The gears in his head started turning.
Jasmine looked like crap, and that was the nice way of putting it. She’d been pale, clammy, and there’d been a definite sickly scent in the air. Looking at Sophia in the mirror, she lookednormal. She wasn’t flushed or groggy. One might never guess looking at her now that she’d been vomiting only minutes before.
Maybe it was the flu. Maybe she needed time to get to where Jazz was, but she didn’t looksick.
And that fucking pregnancy test seemed to be glaring at him in the mirror.
“Soph?” She looked up at him in the mirror in question. He wasn’t even sure how to say what he was thinking. “Um, how do you feel?”
She paused, seeming to take stock of her body for a moment. “Fine,” she finally said. “Weird. I kind of feel energized. Or hungry. Yeah! Definitely hungry. I could go for a milkshake or even a protein shake.” Turning in his arms, she put her hands on his chest. “How turned on are you right now? Because weirdly I really want to suck your dick. Get it?” She waggled her eyebrows at him. “It’s aproteinshake.”
Pirate wanted to laugh. He really did, but he just couldn’t get his brain to stop turning. He wasn’t even sure what it was he was trying to contemplate. Sophia was on the shot. She got it every three months, and her period had been sporadic at best since. Mostly it was the occasional spotting. Yet he couldn’t get his brain to stop trying to do math, but what the hell was he calculating?
Sophia noticed his mood change, or rather, lack of any mood. “What is it?”
“How would you feel about taking a pregnancy test?”
Sophia snorted. “Ha-fucking-ha. What is this, payback for Jazz? Trust me, you swanky pirate, you don’t have super sperm like Pumpkin. I’dknowif I was pregnant.”
Would she? There was no way of knowing how far along she was because of the shot and her lack of period.
“Please,” he asked. He needed to know. He needed to get his brain to stop thinking of the possibilities.
