Then again, the amount of sex he and Dosia had had over the past three nights since she’d sprung this on him was record-breaking. It would be a wonder if he had any sperm left inside him. Maybe he’d been able to fuck his way out of the procedure. No sperm, no need for a snipping, right?
Demo coughed next to him. “Just say the word and I’ll provide a distraction so you can make a run for it.”
“He wouldn’t dare,” Dosia said from across the aisle. She didn’t even look up from the magazine Paige and she were looking at.
Was it a testament for or against his manhood that he was still considering it, though? He scratched his beard to try to clear his nerves. “She’s fucking serious about this, man. She evenshavedmethis morning.”
Demo’s confused eyes went to Pumpkin’s beard, and then they landed on the zipper of his jeans before he flinched away. “Oh, dude! I did not need to know that!”
Paige, though, laughed. She lifted her head from the magazine to look at Dosia. “Really?”
Like the cat who caught the canary, Dosia beamed. “Hell yeah. Had him lay on the bed and put his knees up. Mind, I had to blow him to get him to relax enough to?—”
“Hey!” Pumpkin called out as Demo plugged his ears like a child and started singing, “La-la-la-la…” really loudly.
Dosia just winked at him.
“You’re enjoying this way too much,” he said, pointing a finger at her.
“So much,” she agreed before blowing him a kiss. Then she reached into her purse. “I brought an extra jockstrap for you just in case.”
Pumpkin was about to jump and say, “Fuck this shit!” when his name was called. His blood turned to ice, and he physically felt his cock and balls shrink up even more.
Dosia stood. She went up on her tippy-toes and kissed his cheek. “You got this, baby.” Then she slapped his ass and pushed him towards the nurse.
Pumpkin had no idea how he managed to put one foot in front of the other. His balls were screaming at him to turn around, but God-fucking-damn it, he did love Dosia. He could man up. He could. He could give this to her. Besides, three kids was a lot. Was it worth her health and safety to have a fourth kid? If his super sperm was strong enough to break through condoms, what hope did an IUD have?
Somehow he made it to the nurse and the open doorway that would lead him to his balls’ doom. “Um, my fiancée said to remind you that I want the general anesthesia, not the local. Ieven brought my friend with me to help her get me out to the cage—I mean, car—afterwards.”
The nurse, who couldn’t be an inch over five feet, just stared up at him with raised eyebrows. Then she looked around him to where Dosia, Paige, and Demo sat, and shook her head at them.
“Trust me, Mr. Andrich, you’ll be fine with just the local.”
Pumpkin, though, frantically shook his head. “No, I want the knockout stuff. Completely unconscious.”
“Not going to happen,” the nurse said, her voice a little sterner. “Let’s get going.”
She waved her hand down the hall. Pumpkin felt like he was being walked to the gallows.
SJ was sittingon the table in front of Pumpkin. His son had a cute little party hat on his head with a giant 1 on the front. The clubhouse was decorated in a safari theme, and all the adults and teens had on beige pith helmets. The pile of presents in the corner were taller than SJ.
A corner of the clubhouse had been cordoned off with bright orange polyethylene fencing and the giant suds machine Pumpkin had rented. Despite it being winter, the kids were all in bathing suits as they ran through the foamy soap. They’d only lost a few babies that the adults had to go in after, much to the children’s delight.
Pumpkin was trying not to bring the elation of the party down, because fuck, his balls hurt. He’d tried to bribe the doctor to give him general anesthesia, but even that had failed. That psycho sadist doctor had him laying back on a table, completely aware and awake, while he took a scalpel to Pumpkin’s balls! Also, thanks to his new stitches, Pumpkin now knewexactlywhere his vas deferens were—and apparently he had not one, buttwo!
Fuck, his entire groin area hurt. As a former boxer, he was used to having to wear a jockstrap. He wasn’t wearing a cup now, though he felt like he should have one. Even walking was painful. He had a bag of frozen peas shoved down his pants and an ice pack under his ass in the chair.
Dosia seemed to be getting a kick out of his pain, which made him wonder if he was marrying a secret psychopath. She was taking good care of him, though.Andshe was growing his kid inside her.Andshe was taking care of their other two children.
Damn it. He could survive a little humiliation if it brought a smile to her face.
But he wasneverallowing her near his dick with a razor again. She hadfartoo much fun with that.
Once all the kids were cleaned up from the soapy foam, it was cake time. Pumpkin couldn’t have SJ sit on his lap, so he placed his son on the table in front of him. Dosia sat beside him with JJ on her lap. Beyond not being able to fuck Dosia for at least a week, the worst part about getting himself snipped was that he couldn’t even pick up his own kids. No heavy lifting, and both his kids were now big enough to be considered heavy lifting.
This whole thing fucking sucked.
SJ’s Aunt Tally brought out not one but several cakes. SJ’s eyes went comically wide at the sight of the safari themed cakes. Tally had not made them herself. As she often proclaimed, she was a chef, not a baker. Also, her lack of sight meant that it was difficult for her to decorate pastries and cakes with the precision many required. So these were special ordered from Mabel at the town’s bakery,Loafin’ Around.
