CHAPTER 7
DOSIA
Dosia slapped the pamphlet down on the kitchen table. JJ and SJ werefinallydown for the night, and she’d just thrown up for the third time that day. Nearly three months along, her belly was just starting to round. And despite the fact that she was already pregnant, her stupid fiancé seemed determined to try to put another baby in her. Not that she was complaining, because damn, the sex was great with that man, but fucking hell! With the rate his sperm was going, he might actually succeed.
Pumpkin had even gone as far as to get shirts announcing he had super sperm. One even had a small, white tadpole with a red superhero cape and massive muscular arms in the classic Superman-hip stance.
Dosia loved her daughter, she loved SJ—regardless of the fact that he wasn’t her son by birth—and she loved the baby inside her. She loved Pumpkin, her biker baby daddy and now fiancé.
But she’d bedamnedif she put her body through a third pregnancy.
Pumpkin looked down at the table to the tri-fold paper she’d just placed next to his dessert of apple pie, vanilla ice cream, and caramel sauce. The man didn’t have an ounce of fat on him, yethe ate like a toddler let loose in a candy store. It really wasn’t fair. Her boobs and stomach were getting bigger by the day.
His eyes widened when he saw the words across the top of the paper. “No fucking way!” he cried out.
“Yes, way,” Dosia argued. “You’re two-for-two in having sex with me and knocking me up. I can only be grateful that biology doesn’t allow me to get pregnant again while I’m still pregnant or you’d have a fucking litter inside me by now. Get snipped or you willnevertouch the inside of my vagina again.”
Pumpkin’s mouth fell open. “But… But… Christmas…”
Dosia had no fucking clue what getting a vasectomy and Christmas had to do with each other, but she was not backing down. “I don’t recall anywhere in the lore where it says that Santa doesn’t deliver to ball-less men.”
Pumpkin’s jaw dropped as he snatched up the pamphlet from under her hand and then practically tore it open to start reading. “Wait, they actually take my balls?” His wild, panic-filled eyes looked at her. “I love my balls.Youlove my balls. Why would you take my balls?!”
Dosia groaned, already regretting her choice of words. “No, they don’t actually castrate you.” Coming around to sit next to him, Dosia gently took the paper from his hand to show him the diagram. “Look. It walks you through everything. You’ll get numbed just below your scrotum, they’ll make a small incision on your vas deferens, they’ll close up both ends, and thenvoilà, your super sperm will be trapped in your precious little balls forever more.”
“My balls are notlittle,” Pumpkin snapped.
Dosia took the pamphlet and whacked him over the head with it. “Will you stop fooling around? I’m serious about this. I made an appointment for you for Friday.”
“Friday!” Pumpkin’s fearful expression had not lessened, even with her explanation of how simple a procedure the vasectomy was. “But SJ’s birthday party is Sunday.”
SJ’s first birthday was actually back in November, but with most of the club having the flu or not wanting to get the flu, they’d postponed his party with his club cousins. The window of when they could have his party had been tight between Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and then Jenna and Steel’s departure date for their Bahamas vacation. This weekend they were having SJ’s party, and the following weekend they were going to have the club’s Christmas celebration, which was roughly a week before the actual holiday. The older kids were in school until the Tuesday before Christmas Day, so they’d also been limited by that.
“You’ll be sore, but you’ll be fine. Look,” she pointed to the back of the pamphlet, “they don’t even give you the heavy-duty stuff. Most of what they recommend is over the counter.”
Pumpkin’s bearded chin actually trembled slightly. “But… My balls…”
Dosia put her hand on his cheek. “Baby, I love you, but if you whine about your precious little balls again when I have to push your giant-ass baby out of my hoo-ha in a little over six months, I will have Calliope teach me how to put a curse on your precious little balls so they shrivel up and then fall off. Then I will put them in a blender with pumpkin puree and make youswallow it. Have I made myself clear?”
Pumpkin swallowed hard. “Yes, ma’am.”
Dosia smiled and patted his cheek. “Good boy.” Then she grabbed his plate of apple pie and brought it over in front of her.
Pumpkin picked up the pamphlet to look through it once more as she gleefully ate his dessert. “Holy fuck!”
Startled by his exclamation, Dosia dropped her fork full of pie. It clattered to the table, spraying apple bits and ice creameverywhere. “What?” she demanded, looking around for what had startled him.
“We can’t have sex for seven to ten days!” Pumpkin forced the paper way too close to her face for her to read.
Dosia pushed his hand aside. “We can’t have sex for six weeks after I give birth,” she reminded him.
She didn’t know the details of his relationship with SJ’s bio-mom, but had been assured that he had full custody. Keys had done something to SJ’s birth certificate to make it look like Dosia was his birth mother. But the one thing that she knew was that Pumpkin had not been in a sexual relationship with the woman during or after SJ’s birth, so she didn’t know what he knew or didn’t know about what a woman went through following birthing a child. To verify he was prepared, she’d brought home a lot of books for him to read from her bookstore. He’d slowly been reading them.
“Trust me, sex will be the furthest thing from my mind after this one’s born.” He touched her belly reverently. “But I was really looking forward to pregnancy sex with you.”
“They’re not chopping off your dick,” Dosia snapped, her lips twitching. She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry at how forlorn his expression had become. Like she was taking away his favorite toy or something.
Pumpkin pulled back from the table to look down at his crotch. His eyes were pleading when he lifted his head again. “Is this really what you want?”
