He touched his chest. “I’m Julian Emerson Lent.” He smiled. “Very literary. I know. My mom just liked it. But maybe it mademe a writer. My dear twin who thinks he is in charge is Jeremy Nathaniel Lent. After Gran’s oldest husband. Barrett Heath. Some actor Mom liked. Phoenix Alaric. That’s from some show about vampires? That was on at the time.” He kissed my mouth, gently. “And you are Jayne Alatheia Winder.”
“So weird. Never knew that I was Jayne.” I grinned. “We sort of match, don’t we? Julian and Jayne.”
He leaned back. “Love it.”
“Okay so back to the main point?” I swallowed. “Maybe I’m nervous.”
“To talk about something with me? I hope not. Come on, Baby. Whatever it is, just say it, I love you and your every thought.”
“We’re alone. Maybe we could… get naked together and see how things go. That is if you have a condom.” There I said it. Badly. But I did.
He smoothed my hair off my forehead. “Sounds like a great idea. You. Naked. Seeing how things go. And yes I do but there’s no rush to that if you don’t want to…”
I shook my head. “I want to. With you. For my official first time. If you’re…”
He kissed me. I guessed he was.
18
Imanaged to talk in between his kisses. “I have very little experience with this, so you are going to have to lead this show.”
“It’s not a show.” He kissed my neck, and I shivered. “It’s just me loving you. And you have no idea how incredible you are. Don’t have any nerves. You want to stop? We stop. Okay?”
I nodded, hardly able to think through what he was doing to my neck. “I know. And same by the way, if you want to stop, we stop.”
He laughed. “Thank you. I can pretty much guarantee I won’t want to stop.”
Still, he should know he had a say too.
Outside a sight caught my attention. It was snowing. It had the night before while we were sleeping, but now I could see it. I bit down on my lip. “Jules, should we go upstairs? I mean, I know we’re all in this kind of unique relationship, but I would rather your brothers not walk through the door right in the middle.”
“Me too.” He nodded and jumped up before I could imagine what he would do, scooping me up in his arms. I made a sound—something akin to an oomph. He grinned. “In my head, I was better at that. I will just have to practice doing it.”
I shook my head. “I loved it.”
“Good. Still going to practice. Be aware.” He smiled before he winked at me. “Or don’t be aware. It’s more fun to surprise you.”
He carried me up the stairs and went into one of the bedrooms we hadn’t yet used. They were all empty of any character, matching, as they were purely used as guest rooms for anyone staying with the Lents. There were no small touches; they just looked utilitarian, which led me to believe that the Lents didn’t want guests staying very long.
Knowing them, that was absolutely true.
The bed was comfortable enough. Someone had taken the time to make that happen. They were all king sized and soft but not too soft. It didn’t matter right then. Not when I had Julian leaning over me.
He was so strong; he was in a plank position over my body, and it didn’t bother him at all. He smiled down at me, and I bit down on his lower lip. He closed his eyes and sighed. Yes, that was a good sound. Okay. That worked.
Maybe I wasn’t entirely inept at this seduction thing. Or maybe he just loved me.
That had to be it because I knew exactly how bad I was looking right then.
He opened his lids, his blue eyes so clear and bright I had to catch my breath to look at them. “If this is a dream, don’t wake me up.”
The same went for me. We could share this mutual unbelievable moment together in disbelief. That worked.
His fingers brushed over the fuzz on top of my head before coming down to cup the side of my face, lingering for a moment as if memorizing me with his fingertips. The room felt suspended in time, as if only we existed within the space of thesewalls. Even the faint hum of the heat being pumped in faded into the background. It was just the two of us, breathing each other in.
He kissed me again, softer this time, a gentle reassurance that everything here was real despite its dreamlike quality. I pressed closer, needing more of what I had asked for and what he was offering me.
When he finally pulled back, he looked at me with a kind of reverence that belonged to only him. This was a Julian look, and I was lucky that I got to see it. To the rest of the world he was Julian Lent, untouchable, rich and unknown past the external. In his gaze I could see his soul. “You know,” he murmured, “I never thought I’d find this. How could I? With what and who we are? But you’re here and you want this. With me.”
