“No.” He shook his head. “That’s not a terrible idea, but I don’t want you out in public until you’re feeling better about things so that if it gets back to someone we don’t want seeing you yet that you’re out, you can withstand their presence. I mean, unless you really want to? I meant online. We could go to school online.”
I picked up my own cup. “I don’t have a strong desire to be seen in front of others right now. Just us. Warning, that might last forever. We could be locked away forever.” I winked at him. “You guys can tell me when it’s enough.”
Jeremy laughed as he came into the room. “They’ll make documentaries about us. The hermits in the house in the Hamptons. But whatever. I’m good with that, truly.”
I put out my hand. We had never settled the photo issue. “Phone please.”
“You have one.” He yawned and took his coffee as his brother dragged himself into the room and leaned against the counter.
Yes, I did. “I need Murial’s phone number. I’m going to take over communicating with her. Relieve you of this burden.”
He stared at me. “Really? You want that?”
Phoenix slid his computer toward me. “Enter your info. I’ll register us. Or you know what? I’ll just do it for you. You don’t need to deal with this.”
It took me a second to realize he was still talking about school. There were a lot of various conversations going on at the same time. The sound of music wafted into my ears. The easy light sound of piano playing. I guessed maybe that wasn’t fair. Sometimes piano playing could be intense, dark. But it wasn’t right then. Barrett was feeling joyful.
Jer finally passed me his phone. I took a photo, not letting myself look at it at all because I might hate it and then want to take a better one. The worse the better right now. This was the second time she would be seeing how awful I looked. Hopefully this time she would realize it wasn’t an easily fixed problem.
I attached it to a message and typed before I could overthink it.
Hey, this is Alatheia. I know we have a lot to talk about, but this is what I look like right now. Still recovering from where I was. I’ll be in touch.
I hoped that would be good enough. “Let me know if—when—she answers, it requires more.”
Jer frowned. “I like that photo of you. It’s you, having taken a walk, looking brisk, bright and beautiful.”
I shook my head. “Liar. I see that picture. We both know I am not yet looking like any of that, if I ever did.” I kissed his chin. “We can get you some glasses. I’m sure there must be an eye doctor somewhere.”
He groaned. “Alatheia…”
Phoenix cut him off. “She’s stunningly beautiful. Even when she was in the hospital. We are in agreement. But we both need an elective. What looks appealing? I’ll go ahead and take whatever you want.”
“You did not have the slightest interest in the same elective as me when we were at Pullman.” I stepped toward Phoenix. “Like, is there a writing class? Or something? You won’t like it.”
He shrugged. “I need to pass. That’s it. Get out of school so the parents are satisfied I have a high school diploma. No one is actually expecting me to go to college. The three of them? Yes. You? Yes, you should go. Not me. So, I just need to do whatever to get out of there. I’ll take what you take so we can do the process together.”
Julian pointed at Phoenix. “Look at him being pragmatic.”
“Fuck off, big brother.” Phoenix grinned at Julian, which negated the harshness of the words.
Jer’s phone dinged and I looked over at him. He winced. “She agrees with you. She thinks it’s three weeks until you can be seen by her but says one way or another she will be seeing you then.”
I sighed. “Tell her I’ll come into the city and meet with her privately. How’s that?”
Phoenix clicked on his computer. “We’re both registered for art appreciation unless you hate that.”
“Perfect.” It really was. I was going to finish high school. That seemed like exactly what I should be doing. I nudged Phoenix, “Aren’t we here so you can find where you were held and make peace with it?”
He leaned back. “I don’t know that I am ever going to make peace with it. But, we are here to find it. Once we find it, maybe we stay. Just stay and finish things and then figure out what to do after that.”
We hadn’t discussed that. Not at all. Phoenix had just sort of thought we’d stay here? The piano playing stopped, and Barrett rose to come over to us. The twins were staring at him, rapt attention on their faces. I wasn’t the only one who noted what Phoenix had just said.
Okay. I had to speak first. “You hate it here. I spent less than a week the last time I was here. I… I don’t know if I’m ready to commit to making this full time.”
Was that fair? I hoped I wasn’t being a bitch. Or ungrateful. Or problematic.
“I don’t want to hate it here anymore.” Phoenix sipped his coffee. “Was there bacon? Anyway, I’m working on not hating it here.”
