“Barrett and I were just talking about the grass sleeping. Coming back. Must be in the ether or something today.” I looked out his window. The lake wasn’t sleeping, but I bet it would be cold if I touched it; I bet it would be almost too cold to stand it.
He nodded. “That happens. Like I have a topic with one person, seems random, and it comes up around me five more times that day. Like beets. Happened the last time with beets.”
I scrunched up my nose. “I’m not food picky, but I don’t like them.”
“I actually love them. But I know a lot of people who don’t.”
Wow, he really did just want to talk to me. This might be one of the strangest experiences of my life. An adult wanted to talk who didn’t want to show off, insult, instruct, or need something from me? That was… different.
He looked back at the vase. “Lillies need eight weeks to be unbothered. To rest. To not be asked to grow. Then they come back again. Eight weeks seems such a little time to leave them alone.”
“Are you trying to be profound?” I almost couldn’t believe I had said it as soon as I did.
“No, but it’s interesting you think that.” He rubbed his chin. “I am almost never profound.”
I smiled. “Sorry, that was rude. I don’t know why I did that. I am almost never rude.”
“I told you we’d just be talking and you thought maybe I had lied and meant to make a point. You’re wrecked right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if it bothered you. So, here’s the thing, Alatheia, and then I would like to talk about anything else you’d like to talk about. The way we do things here is a little non-traditional.” He paused. “Maybe the reason for that isobvious.” His accent reminded me of Rosalind’s. “We don’t live traditionally. There aren’t that many of us here who do what I do. Three of us. And we’re all well trained, but the thing is that there is little anonymity. We all know each other in the Life. I can pretend I don’t know things, or I can tell you when I do. Which would you prefer?”
I hated making decisions. Or at least I did lately. “In one of those choices, you are lying and I know it. I don’t think it can be helpful to do that. I think I’d rather you tell me the truth.”
He nodded. “Okay. So you lived in Chicago before New York.” Oh, he did know things. A lot of things. “It begs the question. Who makes the better pizza?”
Huh, wow.
I walkedout with Dr. Trevor—who said it was fine to call him Kirk, though I wasn’t sure I actually could. He was my doctor. Shouldn’t he be Dr. Trevor?—and we stopped at the reception area, where his wife waited for us.
She smiled warmly. “I’m making oatmeal cookies for you and the boys. I’m going to bring it tomorrow when I visit with Rosalind. Been so nice having them all here, even if it’s been awful, the reason why. One of our girls is just a little older than you.”
That was right, because River would have been my age. He was Phoenix’s friend. That would have made us the same age. “I’d love to meet her.”
Maybe. I wasn’t sure how I felt about new people right now. I needed to go home and get my calls made. As Mrs. Trevor set up my next appointment for two days from then I asked her anotherquestion that had occurred to me but I hadn’t been able to do anything about yet.
“Is there a gynecologist here?” I’d never been to one. It was the kind of thing that got arranged by someone’s mother. Given my situation, that had obviously not happened. But I didn’t think anything could progress with the guys if I didn’t do that first. I didn’t want much more right now. When that happened. Eventually.
Lily smiled. “Sure. Let me call up there and see if they can fit you in right now.” Her smile was bright but behind her eyes there was sadness. I recognized it because I saw it in the mirror every day and frequently in the gazes of my loves.
I’d seen it in every girl who was in that horrible place with me.
“Maybe sometime you could explain to me how people send their teenagers to a place where they set them up to die.”
He sighed. “I don’t understand evil. Like you, I’ve stared it in the face. I can’t say I get it better than you do.” Dr. Trevor patted me on the back as his wife hung up the phone.
“Go on up.”
Well… that was fast.
“Elevator.” She motioned toward the door. “Fifth floor. Top floor. You’ll see the nursery on your right. Keep walking. It’s there. Dr. Kim.”
Okay. I could do this. I had thought I might have a few days to get used to the idea but maybe better to just do it.
I needn’t have worried about being alone. Standing outside the office waiting were Barrett and Jeremy. They both looked up from their phones and grinned like I was the best thing they had ever seen.
I wished I could roll around in how warm that made me feel.
Jeremy extended his arms, and I walked into them. “You okay?”
“Yes. You?” I was mostly okay. Just notnotokay enough to bring it up right then.
