I scooped some oatmeal and blew on the spoon before I took a bite. He was right. This was just what I needed. I took three more bites before I spoke again. “This is so good. Thank you. You didn’t lose me.”
“Felt, hell feels, like I did.” He leaned against the counter watching me eat. “I had to get you back.”
I smiled at him. “You weren’t even there.” I kept eating.
“That made it worse. I came out of class to hysterical texts from my brothers. Finally, one just said, come home. I was massively confused, got home as fast as I could. That’s when it was finally explained. Phoenix was a mess. The twins were alternating between inconsolable and angry at the world. I just knew… you were gone. I knew it. Then it was confirmed. And everything was so quiet.”
I shook my head. “There are four of you. No way was it quiet.”
“It was silent. Phoenix left to come down here. We followed him in less than a day. No way were we leaving him. Still, silence. Just utter lost silence. We needed you. I need you.” He kissed my shoulder. “So you wake me up when you’re hungry. You wake me up if you have a bad dream. You wake me up if you can’t sleep. You wake me up if the room is too hot or cold. Anything. Okay?”
I had been right. It was absolutely the right thing to wake Barrett tonight. “Okay.”
“Good.”
We were silent the rest of the time that I ate, and by the time I finished I wasn’t dizzy anymore. Tiredness wafted through me. Barrett took the bowl out of my hand and placed it in the sink.
“I can walk.” He didn’t have to carry me around.
“I know. I still like carrying you.” He picked me back up, and this time I let myself squeak. He patted my rear, and I laughed. He flipped off the light, and we went back upstairs. On quiet feet, he put us both back where we had been just half an hour earlier.
He crawled in next to me, and I wrapped my arms around him, bringing him closer. “Thank you, Barrett.”
“Hush. No thanking me. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I kissed his chin. Julian rolled over, wrapping his arms around me from behind. I really was tangled in both of them. And I loved it.
I took a deep breath. Okay. I was okay. I was all right. We were safe. “I’m sorry you’ll be tired tomorrow.”
“Worth it.” He kissed my forehead.
I closed my eyes.
Time must have passed.
“Hey.” Jer touched my foot, and I opened my eyes. “Princess, time to get up so you can eat something before therapy.”
I rubbed my eyes and darted out of bed. “I’m so sorry. So sorry.”
“Hey.” Jer grabbed me. “You’re okay. It’s okay. Just time to get up. What are you sorry for?”
All four of them were staring at me when I finally connected what I had done. “I… I…” Fuck. “I thought I was in trouble. I couldn’t oversleep. I don’t know why I thought it was here. I just…”
“Woke up confused.” Jeremy hugged me. He smelled familiar. “It’s early days. Hasn’t been a week. Don’t get yourself worried about this.”
I took a deep breath. “Well, I guess we can see why I need therapy. I’m off my rocker.”
“Don’t put yourself down to make us feel better. You don’t have to joke. You were scared.” It was Phoenix who spoke, putting his hand on my back. “We love you. We’re all fucked up.” He squeezed my shoulder, and I pulled back to look at him. “I got those numbers for you. Do you think it’s safe and smart for you to be the one to call all these girls? I mean some of them are twelve years old, right? What are you going to say to them? Your parents want you dead in six years? I think… I think we need a different way. You contact your close friends. But the rest of them? I think we need Kit to get involved in this.”
Okay. This was a lot for first thing in the morning but there was little time to waste. “Will he do it?”
“Yes. He will. He has people who will pretty much do anything.” Julian climbed out of the bed. “Hungry? I’ll make you something.”
I really wasn’t. Not even a little bit. But I probably should eat something to try to get onto some form of a regular eating schedule. “Just something small. I ate in the middle of the night.”
Three of them stared again. “You did?” It was Jer who asked.
“Yes, I made her oatmeal at two in the morning.” Barrett yawned. “I took care of her. She was hungry.”
