He audibly exhaled. “I do now. I love you, too. I love you so much. It’s been hell without you in my arms.”
“I… I don’t know if I should say this.”
He hugged me tighter. “Say anything. Anything.”
“I wanted you so much when I was in the police station. To be there with me. When it all started to hurt, when the drug left and I was empty. I wanted you.”
Barrett was so quiet I wondered if I had made a terrible mistake. But then he kissed my cheek. “I would have done anything for the privilege of being there.”
I laughed. “I don’t think you can call sitting with me in jail a privilege.”
“Sitting with you anywhere is a privilege.”
My laugh must have roused Phoenix. He opened his eyes. “Nice sight to wake up to, you laughing. What’s funny?”
“Sitting with me in jail as being something he should want.”
Phoenix blinked. “Not going to lie, I could think of other places I’d rather sit with you, but sure, we can sit in jail.”
I shook my head. They were being ridiculous. “For the first month I thought you would all come get me, and then, when you didn’t, I thought we were just done. I was going to call at some point after I was eighteen. But, yeah. I thought it was over.”
They both frowned and then Barrett hugged me. “At first we thought they had sent you to a school. A boarding school. That’s what you’d always thought so that’s what we thought. We looked at every school in the world. Phoenix was occupied and the rest of us don’t hack, so my parents were calling on every connection they had to find out where you were. You showed up nowhere. Your family was so smug. Your aunt has left New York to avoid Granny because she camped out outside her apartment. But she was so dismissive. Couldn’t be swayed. Even your uncle losing all his funding did nothing. It makes no sense. If you hadn’t posted that comment when you did, we’d still be looking. Phoenix was back with us by then, and he tracked it.”
I smiled at him. “Thank you. Have I thanked any of you for getting me? I really… can’t remember.”
Phoenix put his head down on my hands for a second. “No thanks.”
“How is this possible that you’re all here? You’re all supposed to be in school.”
Jeremy walked into the room, spotted us, grinned and then sat down next to Barrett. “I’m texting Jules if you are feeling good enough to talk. He should be here too. He’s close by. Around the corner, getting coffee.”
I shook my head. “Julian shouldn’t be caffeinating. He looks exhausted. He should be sleeping.”
“Preaching to the choir.” Barrett shook his head. “He couldn’t really sleep after you were taken, and he isn’t yet sleeping.”
If we were going to wait for question-and-answer time, then I was going to sit back and enjoy the lake again. It wasn’t long because Julian did come tearing in the room. He smiled when he saw me and made Phoenix scoot over a bit so he could sit with all of us. Sure enough, he had a cardboard cup in his hand, and he was sipping coffee.
“Alatheia is worried that you’re not sleeping.” Jer lifted his eyebrows.
“That obvious? Please don’t worry about me, Baby. I am worried about you. But actually I might sleep tonight because you are coming home.”
I gasped. “What?”
“Yes. They’re releasing you. The stuff you need to do next can all be done outpatient. It’s different than what Phoenix had to do. So, you can come home.”
I loved the idea of that, but the reality sunk in. “I can’t go back to New York. Maybe not ever, guys. I know this is going to be a huge problem. I committed a felony. That much ketamine was a felony. I only got out of it because I went to that place where they sent me. Otherwise I was going to jail. I didn’tcomplete it. I could be in serious trouble. Fuck. Am I in serious trouble?”
Once my mind started to go it really went. A million worries all at once.
“Hey. ” Phoenix shook his head. “No. You’re not in trouble. Charges were dropped entirely. Once Kit got involved it was handled. He tried to be involved right away. You’re one of us. We take care of our own. Right or wrong we use our influence. Your family isn’t the only family to know a judge. And no, for now you’re not going back to New York.”
Barrett nodded. “Outpatient. You stay here. Come back here for the clinic. We have a big house and a small house on the lake. We’re in the small house and you’ll be with us.” He smiled. “Granny is coming down soon, and then we’ll all be together.”
Okay. That sounded better. I pulled my knees up and let my head sink down to them. I needed a second like this. I just did.
Jeremy reached around Barrett to rub the back of my head. No one said anything, so they were maybe silently judging me, but I preferred to think that they were giving me a second and that was fine.
After a few seconds, I lifted my head. “Sorry. I guess I do that now. I put my head on my knees.”
