That he didn’t want me.
He may love me in his way, but it’s not enough if he can’t be with me fully.
I’mnotenough.
“Baby, can you please say something? Yell at me. Tell me you hate me. I don’t care, just… don’t shut me out,” he pleads, eyes fixed on mine.
The only words I can manage are, “I love you.”
He exhales like he’s been holding his breath for hours. Then he leans in to kiss me, pausing for my permission. I nod, and he presses his lips to mine, gentle and brief.
“I apologize for walking out last night,” he says. “If you give me a little more time to work past this fear of hurting you, we’ll try again. If that’s what you want.”
It’s everything I thought I wanted.
But now?I can’t shake the fear of being let down.
“It’s because I’m inadequate, isn’t it?” I mumble before I can stop myself. The words sting even as they leave my mouth.
His brows pull together sharply. “Baby, no. Why the hell would you think that?”
I shake my head, brushing it off. “It doesn’t matter.”
He doesn’t let it slide, cupping my face, forcing me to look at him. “Dee, you’re everything I’ve ever needed. Everything I’ve ever wanted. You complete me. I don’t want anyone else beside me, just you. I hate that I made you feel less than perfect because you are. Inside and out. I wouldn’t change a single damn thing about you.”
My throat tightens as I fight more tears. “Not even one thing?”
His smile is sad, but sure. “Only this tension between us right now. That’s it. Because you? You’re perfect. I only want to make you happy. Hearing you cry last night, knowing I caused that, it made me feel like the arsehole I’ve been trying not to be. Sotoday’s yours. Tell me what you want. Whatever it is, I’ll make it happen.”
“You were an arsehole,” I say, not letting him off the hook. “But I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I get that you’re scared, but the way you went about it, stirred up every insecurity I’ve been trying to bury.” I pause, swallowing hard. “As for today, I don’t want anything. I just want to sleep in your arms. If that’s okay.”
“Oh, baby,” he murmurs, guilt clouding his voice. “I can’t apologize enough. And yeah… I didn’t sleep either. I can’t sleep without you.” He shifts onto his back so I can curl against his side.
I snuggle into him, feeling his warmth soak into my skin as Princess hops up and settles on Colt’s stomach. I give her a few gentle strokes, and the three of us lie half-asleep, and wrapped in each other.
Trying to forget the mess of the night before.
Chapter Sixteen
DEE
We eventually make our way downstairs to eat. We’re both quieter than usual, like the words are there but neither of us knows how to speak them aloud. Before the accident, we were in such a solid place. We were us. But ever since, it’s been this emotional rollercoaster, and I’m exhausted from the highs and lows.
I love him—no question.
And I know he loves me.
But sometimes I wonder…
Is love really enough?
Can we survive every hit life throws our way when he can’t even bring himself to touch me like before? I shake my head, trying to stop the spiral.
“Are we okay?” Colt asks, his voice deep, but hesitant.
I look up at him from across the table and force a smile. “Yeah. It’s just… a settling-in period. Something we have to adjust to. I’m fine now. It’s been ages since the accident, and I’m doing great, Colt. I wish you’d believe me.” I stare at my plate, nudging food around like it might suddenly become appetizing.
He exhales, and silence settles over us like a heavy fog.
