“Yes, thank you,” I reply, offering a polite smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. He grins and lifts his camera again.
Surprisingly, it’s not a circus. There are maybe five or six photographers who probably showed up on a hunch since we didn’t tell anyone I was being discharged today. They keep a respectful distance, allowing me enough space to hobble to the stretch Hummer without being swarmed.
It’s still uncomfortable. Still invasive.
But manageable.
And for once, I don’t feel like prey.
I feel like someone finding her footing again.
One awkward damn step at a time.
“Colt, are you happy that your fiancée is finally out of the hospital?” someone calls out as I slide into the car.
“Ecstatically happy. Thanks for all your support and well wishes. Have a good day, everyone,” he says, sitting beside me. I smile as he shuts the door and takes my hand. I look around the Hummer at all the people I love, even Huxley, and smile.
They all stayed in New Jersey for me.
They are all here because they love me, and I couldn’t be more grateful right now.
“I just want to say thank you to you all for being here and helping me get to this point, where I can now head back to London. It means so much that you’re all here. I love you all, especially you,” I say, turning to Colt and smiling.
“We’re just grateful that you’re coming home. In the beginning, we thought we would be bringing you home in a casket. And then putting up with Colt, if that had happened,would’ve been hell, so thank you for pulling through,” Dingo says, making us all laugh.
I take in my friends and family and know I couldn’t have gotten this far without them, especially the man sitting right next to me. He really ismy everything, and even though I feel content at this moment, the nagging thought that I’m being utterly selfish by staying with him keeps popping into my mind. I love him so much, but this man deserves so much more than I can give him now.
Let’s face it, I’m completely selfish, completely and unapologetically selfish. But I have always been that way. It’s how I was raised, molded to believe the world would bend if I wanted it to. So having Colt in my life isn’t just something I want, it’s something I need. Because without him, I’m not sure I’d know how to exist.
For the rest of the ride to the airport, everyone chats amongst themselves as I try my best to keep my overactive imagination and concerns at bay. I’m happy to be going home, but the anxiety about the future and what it holds niggles at the back of my mind.
When we arrive at the airport, Colt helps me up the stairs and inside, boarding the jet. He leads me past our usual seats and into the bedroom, making me lie on the bed to rest.
“Colt, you don’t have to stay in here if you don’t want to. Go and hang out with the guys and do some band stuff. I’m sure they would love to have you back for a while. Plus, I will probably sleep once Tamara gives me my pill,” I say as I lay my head on the pillow.
He shakes his head, smirking. “You think you can get rid of me that easily? Nope, I’m staying right here. The band can wait. You’re my priority, baby, and I won’t let anything come between us. Not even the band,” he states as he moves in, lying on the bed next to me.
Turning my head, I offer him a half smile. He rolls on his side, facing me, and watches me intently.
“I worry, you know… I want to make sure that your return to the spotlight isn’t completely extinguished bymy accident. The Super Bowl was12GUAGE-Slayed’schance to get back, and I feel like I’m stopping that from happening…again.”
“What do you mean, again?”
“I mean that the whole reason you guys stopped performing the first place was because of me… because we were apart, and now that you’re back together, you’re supposed to be doing this reunion tour, but you’re not because ofmyaccident. Thoseminionsare going to hate me for keeping you from them…again.” Releasing a heavy breath, I frown as I think of theevil minionfans that caused the accident in the first place. Inadvertently, I lower my hand to my stomach, fighting back the tears threatening to fall.
“Hey, I don’t care about the fans. They can wait. If they’re as loyal as they say they are, then they’ll understand I have to take care of you first. Once you’re fully healed, then I can think about the band. But for now, it’s all about you, whether you like it or not,” he says with a smirk, but all I can manage is a half-smile in return.
I feel guilty.
I’ve kept Colt away from his commitments for over a month.
And it will probably be at least another month until I’m completely normal.
Well, as normal as a woman going through early menopause can be.
Ugh, I’m not looking forward to getting those symptoms.
I push those thoughts aside for now.
