The bed dips behind me, and Colt wraps his arm around my body, bringing his hand up to rest against my chest. He holds onto me so tightly as he gently kisses behind my ear.
Colt doesn’t say anything, doesn’t tell me how much of a bitch I am for treating Anna that way. He simply lies there comforting me until my tears dry up, and there’s nothing left for me to cry.
I feel terrible!
I’msoangry at myself for treating Anna that way.
I’m so selfish.
But at the same time, I’m insanely jealous, and the thought of Anna being pregnant and giving birth soon does my head in.
I’m conflicted.
I’m angry.
I’m sad.
I’m confused.
But most of all, I am hurting.
This emotional pain is so much worse than anything physical I’ve endured since the accident. I would take broken arms and legs again in a heartbeat if it meant I didn’t have to feel like this. So unsteady, so lost.
I’m pushing everyone away.
My friends.
My family.
And I know Colt will be next—telling me I’m being irrational, telling me to ‘snap out of it.’
I can’t stand this.
This vulnerability.
This weakness.
I hate it.
I despise who I’ve become.
And the truth? I know I’m being irrational. I know pushing Anna away and lashing out at Dad isn’t fair. But I don’t know how to stop.
I don’t know how to be right now.
Should I let Colt go?
Should I set him free so he can find someone who isn’t so emotionally broken?
Someone who isn’t physically scarred?
Someone who can give him the family he deserves?
That’s what Ishoulddo.
But I can’t.
Because Colt is the only thing keeping me grounded in this storm, he’s my one safe place—steady, unshaken, full of love—even when I don’t deserve it.
