“I am kissing you properly,” he replies, pulling back slightly with a smile. “In a normal, romantic way. I can’t risk hurting you.” He leans back on the bench, stretching out and resting one ankle over his knee like he’s completely satisfied with his answer.
I shake my head fondly and turn my face back to the sun, closing my eyes and letting the warmth settle in my bones again.
I don’t know how long we sit like that—silent, still, breathing in the calm—but I feel him watching me, guarding me with nothing but love in his eyes. A few clouds drift across thesky, dulling the sunlight, and I glance up, annoyed they’ve interrupted my perfect moment.
As the day starts to fade, so does the tension I’ve carried for weeks.
I feel relaxed.
Grateful.
Alive.
Even though Dad’s words were harsh—too harsh—maybe I needed to hear them. As much as I hate to admit it, they snapped something into perspective.
Colt is here.
And he’s not going anywhere.
So maybe, just maybe, my life isn’t missing anything after all.
Because with him, I already have everything.
I glance over at him, leaning back in the chair like he belongs there, completely relaxed and content. His eyes are closed, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
Gently, I reach for his hand and lift it to my mouth, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.
His smile deepens, and when he opens his eyes, the way he looks at me—it’s pure love.
“I think I’m ready to go back inside now,” I say, and he nods as he stands.
As he pushes me, he asks, “Do you feel better?”
I nod and smile even though he can’t see my face. “It was exactly what I needed. Thank you, babe,” I admit.
“Good, glad to be of service to ya, ma’am,” he says in a terrible American southern accent. I laugh, and he chuckles as he wheels me back into the sterile concrete hospital building.
He playfully pushes me in a wavy pattern, twisting the wheelchair back and forth down the path, and we both laugh, joking with me on the way back to our room. I feel okay, notgood, but okay. Maybe I can cope with this, and with some help from Colt, I’m sure we’ll be just fine.
He races back to our room with nurses’ tutting as he rushes past them. I laugh at their expressions as he runs through the doorway and into the room. I’m looking up at his smiling face when he comes to a stop.
“Hey, guys,” Colt says cheerily.
I peer around to find Johnny and Anna grinning back at us.
I smile at my best friend, and then my eyes can’t help but wander down to her stomach. Instantly, I feel sick, like I want to physically heave up my lunch. Every inch of progress I made outside, all the thoughts of feeling like this isn’t the end of the world, come crashing down when I see Anna’s pregnant belly. My breathing hitches while she looks at me, confused.
“Hey, Dee, you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Anna says, walking across to me. I swallow hard with so many conflicting emotions running through my head. I love Anna and am happy for her, but I don’t need a constant reminder of what I’ll never have staring me right in the damn face right now.
“I… ah…” is all I can manage before the tears start to fall.
Colt is by my side in an instant.
Johnny looks at me sympathetically. “Anna, I think we should go,” Johnny says.
I look at him, and the realization slaps me in the face. “You know,” I accuse, looking at Johnny, and he dips his head, confirming my assumption. I furrow my eyebrows, unsure how I feel about that. I’m not sure I want anyone to know how defective I am, let alone Johnny.
I can’t handle this!
