And try not to turn around.
Chapter Thirty-Four
DEE
Six Days Later
My phone has been vibrating constantly.
And as twisted as it is, it’s become a strange source of comfort—proof that Colt hasn’t given up on me. Not yet. Even though I keep telling myself that pushing him away is what’s best for him, it doesn’t make it any easier. Especially not when I ache for him like this.
I finally head upstairs and crawl into the bed I know too well, it’s the same one I slept in during our last breakup. The same one I vowed never to return to.
The days blur together in a fog of silence and heartbreak. Joseph and Danny try to distract me, but I barely speak. I go through the motions. I eat a little, drink a lot of tea, and cry more than I care to admit.
And every hour, like clockwork, Colt calls.
I never answer.
But I watch the clock.
I count the minutes between each attempt, like a junkie waiting for a fix.
I don’t let Joseph or Danny know that part. They’d worry. They would try to reason with me. But there’s no reasoning with the way my heart responds tohim.
I want him to move on. I need him to. I want him happy, with his son, with stability, with the life he’s been given.
Still, that small, stubborn piece of hope keeps whispering that maybe, just maybe, he’ll fight for me anyway.
By night six, I’ve reached my limit.
The calls are wearing me down.
I miss him.
I crave the sound of his voice so badly it hurts to breathe. I know if I don’t do something drastic, I’ll cave. So I unplug my phone from the charger and turn it off completely. Cold turkey. No more temptation.
But the silence that follows is unbearable.
My chest tightens.
What if he thinks I’ve given up?
What if he finally stops trying?
Panic claws up my throat.
I scramble to turn it back on. The screen lights up, and I exhale, clutching it to my chest like it’s a life preserver.
It only takes a few minutes.
His name appears.
His picture flashes across the screen.
I close my eyes and swipe to answer, but I can’t find the strength to speak.
“Dee? Baby, did you pick up?” Colt’s voice is a balm and a blade all at once. I swallow hard, blinking rapidly.
