“Will you stop doing that?” Caleb groans.
We both laugh.
And for the first time in days, it feels a little lighter.
***
When we arrived home, I felt awful about how I behaved today. I let everyone down, including Caleb. I promised him ice cream, and in the end, he wasn’t allowed to have it. Colt told me not to worry, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this is how it’ll be now—me saying one thing, Macy saying another. I don’t think I’ll ever get this right.
All that progress I made earlier? Realizing how selfish I’d been? It’s slipping through my fingers, and I’m sinking into self-pity again. Watching Colt with Macy and Caleb does something to me. It twists something dark and ugly in my chest. The way they interact looks effortless.Familia.They know each other’s rhythms. Caleb adores Colt. And together, they fit—this perfect little unit—while I stand here, watching from the outside.
Even Hux gets along with Caleb. Watching them all laugh together after the testing, when we went for coffee, it nearly broke me. But after already disappointing everyone, I forced myself not to fall apart in front of them.
No. That’s for when I’m alone.
I have to be strong. For Colt. For Caleb. For the bond they’re building. If Caleb sees I’m upset every time he’s around, he’s going to think it’s his fault.
That’s the last thing I want.
“Thanks for today, baby,” Colt says as we get out of the car.
I chuckle bitterly, shaking my head.Is he serious?
“Thanks for what? For ruining your day and disappointing your son over ice cream? I don’t think I deserve thanks, Colt.” I head for the door, but his footsteps crunch on the gravel behind me. He grabs my arm, spinning me to face him.
“That ice cream thing? Stop beating yourself up. It was a simple mistake, and he was fine with it. And ruining my day? Dee… you came. That’s what matters. I was so damn happy to see you walk into that hospital, even if it was after the testing. You showed up. You handled yourself at the coffee shop, even though I could see you were struggling. We’ve only known about Caleb for a few days. This isn’t going to be easy. We both have to adjust if we want this to work.”
I stare at the ground.
He lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. “I love you. Don’t forget that. Sometimes I think you do, or you start to doubt it, but Dee… you never have to worry about whether I love you. I’m incapable ofnotloving you. It’s justnotpossible. Do you understand me?”
“I love you too. So much, Colt. I just worry I’m not enough. That now, well… you have your new family, and I don’t quite fit into it.”
“Stop,” he growls, voice firm but gentle. “You’re more my family than Macy ever will be. She may be Caleb’s mother, but that’s where it ends.”
“But what if she tries to get you back? I mean, it’s the perfect picture, right? A ready-made family. How do you say no to that?”
He exhales sharply, like he’s holding back all kinds of frustration. “Even if she did want that, which she doesn’t, it wouldn’t matter. I don’t want her. I don’t feel anything for her. Just an old friendship, that’s it. Dee, what the hell do I have to do to make you see? You’re it for me. You always have been.”
I shake my head slightly, my voice soft. “I’m just so insecure. I’ve never felt anything like this before… not this intense. I love you so hard it scares me. You could break me, Colt.”
His hand tangles in my hair as he crashes his mouth to mine. It’s sudden, possessive, raw. When he finally pulls back, his grip tightens, tugging gently so I meet his gaze. “Just like you could break me, Dee.”
I swallow hard, the realization crashing through me. I’ve always known I could hurt him, that much was obvious when he overdosed, but to break him? To know he loves me that deeply? The words stun me. And it soothes something inside me, too.
He releases my hair and kisses me again, softer this time, more tender.
“Don’t doubt me, Dee,” he whispers against my lips.
I nod, slipping my hand into his as we walk toward our manor.
Tonight, we’ll climb into bed and hold each other.
And for now?
Maybe that is enough.
Chapter Thirty-One
